a re-post for your viewing pleasure!


Natural Hair is like a country. There is citizenship that goes along with it and anytime I am either approached by or approach a non-national, about the requirements and possibilities of citizenship, I always hear this line: “But my hair is so hard” (some even liken their natural hair to steel wool).Lies. Lies and scandal. Propoganda. Generational baggage. Falsehood.

Once and for all let me let you know: Your hair is NOT hard. It’s not as if you have wire or twigs growing from your scalp is it? In all likelihood, your hair is actually dry. Not hard. And if your hair is dry, it’s your fault, not your hair’s fault. So, stop the name-calling. This amounts to verbal abuse. If you called me names for the entire duration of our relationship and neglected me, denying me what I vitally needed, the chances are I wouldn’t cooperate with you either. So let’s all take a deep breath and verbalize. Repeat after me: My hair is not hard.

Good. Now that you’ve admitted this and see the error of your ways, you need to acknowledge this to you hair. Apologize. Deep condition. Repeat. It’s going to take time, it’s going to take effort, it’s going to take gentleness and patience. Your perception of your hair is the problem, not your hair. When you decide to see your hair differently, you will.

So many of us were so young when we first parted ways with our natural hair and for so many it was with “good riddance” on our lips. We only remember our hair as the “bush” that our mothers didn’t know how to deal with. Please believe me when I tell you that there is more to your hair than that. It has more character and more potential that you know. Give your hair a chance to win your heart back. If you do your part to repair the relationship, you won’t be disappointed.