Many of us profess to love our hair. We talk about it, blog about it, make videos about, and even buy the t-shirts. But do we really love our hair? How many of us are content in the day-to-day trials and tribulations that come with natural black hair? How many of us long for longer, curlier, wavier hair? How many of us are missing the trees for the forest as they say? I’m guilty. I believe that I do love my hair, but I often find myself pondering how it will look a few years from now or how it may respond to a certain product. I often find myself in envy of the hair of others. A lot of us have hair goals and while I think that is great, I think that we sometimes decline to embrace the current state of our hair.
The length of my hair is not conducive to many hairstyles that I would like to try and at times that frustrates me. The natural curl pattern of my hair is not very defined–ever–no matter how many products I use, and that can be bothersome. My hair absorbs moisture like a Saharan desert and that bugs me.
But don’t tell me I don’t love my hair. If you witnessed the numerous hours I spend detangling and styling my hair you’d think it was love. The other day I was thinking about natural hairstyles and I realized that I never wear my hair in an afro or free-flowing with a headband anymore. It used to be the only style I would wear. I had to ask myself why I don’t wear the hairstyle anymore. Is it because I think it is “unprofessional” in my workplace? Am I fearful of the social stigma it may ensue? I decided that it was because I have more hairstyle options now that my hair has grown. But are there styles that are “too natural” for us? Are there hairstyles that we are embarrassed or hesitant to wear in public? It’s a heartwrenching thing to know that the answer is yes. As much as people may declare “I don’t care what others think,” we do care. We are social beings and we can’t help but to care. When our hearts beat a little faster, that’s caring. When we become nervous or sheepish, that’s caring. When we throw on a wig and call it protective styling, but the truth is that we don’t want others to see our “unkempt” hair underneath, that’s caring.
In any love relationship there are ups and downs. It’s expected that we will not always be thrilled with our hair each day, but I encourage you to analyze your hair-related behaviors and desires. Love it for what it is and love it for what it is not. Love it for what it could be, but love it just because… it’s your hair.