I often see a lot of transitioners appearing to be at their wits end when they reach that point in their transition, where the call to reach for the box of relaxer is looking like it is about to be answered.
Although I have surprisingly not had the itch to go back to relaxing yet, I have had this dream, well nightmare, where I accidentally relax my hair. How one accidentally relaxes their hair I do not know, but I remember being pissed in my dreamworld and waking up feeling for my hair to make sure everything was as it should be. That sigh of relief I tell ya…pure madness! It just reminded me of how much work and patience goes into transitioning, and how mad I would be at myself if all that commitment went to waste. It confirmed that going back to the creamy crack is a definite no no for me right now!
Anyways…I wanted to be of aid to those who have reached this point in their transition and may just need some encouragement to keep moving forward with their journey:
#1 Don’t spend HOURS looking at photos where you were relaxed
There have been moments where I catch myself looking at old photos and I have to remind myself to keep it moving. If you are experiencing a weak moment, don’t torture yourself further by bringing out those old photo’s where you were still relaxing. This could stir up emotions you felt at the time of the picture where you may appear happier, and because your hair happens to be relaxed in the picture, you may wrongly connect the two an make an irrational decision. Instead, start collecting new photo’s of your transitioning hair (especially when you have successfully pulled of a new style from that YouTube tutorial!) so that you can look to those for encouragement to keep going!
#2 Try an alternative
Instead of making such a drastic change as returning to the use of chemicals, why not try something less permanent such as flat ironing occasionally or roller sets? This may help you to overcome this part of your transition without having to give into that urge!
#3 Reward Yourself!
Transitioning can be a roller coaster of a journey and requires more patience than some of us even knew we were capable of having! So instead of focusing on the negatives, try celebrating the positives by rewarding your accomplishments so far. Acknowledge the efforts you have put in already, and allow yourself that new lipstick you have had your eyes on!
#4 That ‘Good Hair’ documentary
As cheesy as it sounds, watching this documentary was the kick up the backside I needed to finally start my transition, and I know I’m not alone in that! When you are at a low point, watch the documentary and hopefully it will stir up those emotions that made you want to kick the relaxers out of your life. Remember the coke can? Sheeesh!
#5 Spend time looking at naturals and fellow transitioners
Happiness can be infectious! If you spend some time surfing the web reading the testimonials of those who have been in your shoes and are now completely natural, seeing how happy they are with their decision will no doubt rub off on you and remind you that this thing is not impossible. Collect some pictures of smiling naturals whenever you feel that relaxer urge coming on!
#6 Write a list of all the reasons why you decided to transition
As you get further into your journey, the reasons why you started it in the first place may become blurred along the way. This can make you question whether continuing to go any further with your transition is really necessary. For those times where you feel you may be reaching for that box of chemicals, make a list of all of those reasons that you decided to start transitioning. This will keep your goals fresh in your mind and motivate you in achieving them.
Feeling like you are ready to go back to relaxing does not make you a terrible transitioner! We all have our weak moments and sometimes just need some encouragement to keep the wheel spinning. At the end of the day, you have to remember that doing what is best for you is what is most important!