A few months ago, I met these awesome twin pastors and in a sermon, one of them said he tried to only say what was necessary one day and found himself having to be very quiet. It made me think about how much we say. How many words and ideas and opinions come out of our mouths. How much of it is necessary or even relevant? How much of it reflects the type of person we want to be?
In analyzing myself, I’ve noticed how much I give my opinion. Without request. “There it is, I’ll give it to you.” While I appreciate the boldness, albeit blind, and openness of it, I’m just one person of nearly seven billion. I certainly don’t want to know everyone’s opinion on everything because…I don’t care. And, in most cases, unless someone asks me, they don’t care about mine. Hmmm.
I need to humble myself. In fact, I’m about to. I’m going to see what happens when I focus on only saying what’s necessary. If it doesn’t improve upon silence, must it be said?
Enter the silence.
I'm a talker, I know it. In my head, I'm sometimes saying, "Stop talking!" and I tell others to tell me to stop talking because otherwise, I'll keep going. I can be silent … but usually, it's only when I'm very mad. I think my talking is genetic, comes from my mom. But, oddly enough, my boyfriend and I are often quiet together … and, in a good way. Like, it doesn't feel awkward. With him, I can be silent and at peace. Also, I don't like to be on the phone. So, my talking is during the day at work (I manage a department of almost 60 people, so often in meetings, talking). So, when I get done, I don't want to talk too much anymore. Okay, and with that, enough talking! LOL!
Shelli
It's been a challenge for me, but one I invite and plan to stick with for a while. I didn't realize how much I say that didn't need to be said and now find myself saying something and immediately following that with "that wasn't necessary." Wish me luck on this journey!
@Sarah "Brevity is the soul of wit." I like that. 🙂
I believe the less of something we have, the more value we place upon it. My DH is not a talker who is also very passive. When he speaks, I listen because he rarely feels the need to talk simply to kill time. It makes what he does say more important to me. If he raises his voice, then I know he means business…LOL! Some people see it as "soft", I view it as quiet confidence.
As a public, middle school teacher and being who I am, it is very hard to "shut up" sometimes. But the longer I teach, the more kids respect me because I try hard not to comment on every little thing they do or say (unlike some of my nagging colleagues who don't seem to undertand that the last thing most of "our" kids want to hear is a nagging, shrill teacher.). Sometimes my self-imposed silence is a struggle, but the means to the end of building better relatinships with my students, so they in turn will learn more (ultimate goal) is definitely worth it. I think I'm on the right track.
I prefer to listen but my boyfriend talks soooo much. I think he is uncomfortable with silence. I have to listen to the same stuff over and over and over..I wish I could (tactfully) get him to read this one!
Brevity is the soul of wit
I've always preached tact over mindless talking.
Hmmmm…. (silence)
I mostly a listener. When people come to me I listen to what they have to say and usually only give an opinion when asked. A few times friends have actually wanted my opinion and in those cases they had to say, "so what do you think?" Anyway, I find it very irritating when someone gives me an unsolicited opinion. Recently, I find myself doing it right back to my friends and relatives who tend to give their unsolicited opinions – I find that they really don't like it. …so what happened to do unto to others as you would have them do unto you? : )
This is so true!
Enough said. I will try this challenge.
So true. Now let me shut up and go do my hair. At least I know I can be silent then. 🙂
WOW! This speaks volumes to me. Sometimes silence is golden. Checking myself as we speak and will only say what's necessary.