Okay — so listen for one second before you unfollow/block me or whatever already for the title of this post because I know it is against the “natural hair code of ethics.” (Which was written by who you might ask? I’m not sure.) But I am about to go on a little rant right now because I am just tired of all of this talk saying “I am not my hair, my hair doesn’t define me, I am going to go bald because I don’t want my hair to be who I am, blah blah blah.” There are many people who have said this but it has gotten to the point now where I want to voice my opinion. (Also please keep in mind I am in no way trying to offend anyone who may have a disease such as cancer or alopecia or anything. I am just trying to make a point.)
First off — technically yes, I AM my hair. It grows out of my head and so it is just as much of my body as any other part of my body is. So if I am not my hair then does that mean I could cut off my arm too? Cause uhm, I’m pretty sure that it’s apart of me too. Really.
I truly believe that hair is a beautiful asset of a woman. Men typically have short hair– and women typically have longer hair than men. Typically. Cause yes there are many women who look STUNNING with short hair/fades. I think they look even better with short hair because it accentuates their natural beauty. And if you want to go that route because of your personal preference — I totally support that! But lets be real we are all not Amber Rose and if I go bald I’m gonna be looking like a baby alien! (Yes, a baby alien– cause I might still be a little cute– I think. lol). So I am not going to stop wearing my hair out or cutting it because “I don’t want to be my hair anymore.”
I also think this makes us take a few steps backwards if you ask me. We finally got over relaxers, and now we have to get over being natural? So we have come with the next best solution — no hair!!! *Straight face*. Can we ever win??
And for you beautiful women of God reading this who believe that having/flaunting/taking pictures of hair makes you vain or pretentious– the bible says “–a woman, her beautiful hair reminiscent of angels” 1 Corinthians 11:15 (MSG) and the NIV translation says “if a woman has long hair it is her glory. For long hair is given to her as a covering.”
So I understand if you might have an issue comparing your hair to other women and wanting to have their texture and/or length, or caring about your appearance more than your character– but I don’t think that calls for you to disown your hair completely. If that’s the case that won’t even get to the root of the issue. You are just burrying the problem (which is envy and insecurity) and not addressing it and fixing it. I’ve struggled with both of these issues and if I’m not careful I can end up feeling that way again too. But I have to remind myself that I am “fearfully and wonderfully made” and that “my confidence is in Christ.”
I don’t post pictures of my hair or wear it out just to show it off and flaunt how curly it is. I post it because until 7 years ago I hated my hair. Actually– even when I went natural I still hated it for awhile. I grew up wanting stick straight, silky hair like the white girls at school — or at least blonde loose curls like my beautiful mom who I always did and still admire. I was insecure and thought that people with straighter, finer hair were better and more beautiful than me. And now even my beautiful 5 year old niece sometimes says things like “No one has hair like me.” or “I want my hair smooth” and sometimes wears a blanket over her head to pretend it is long, flowly hair (lol does anyone else remember doing that? I used to all the time LOL). But my sister and I constantly remind her and tell her “Gianna your hair is beautiful! LOOK! Me and mommy have hair just like yours!”
I have finally embraced my natural texture and I want everyone else to too. I want people of all textures whether you are 1A or 4C to love what they were born with and embrace it just as much as you embrace your height, body shape, or whatever your other favorite attributes are. I love when I get emails from people saying how much I inspire them to embrace their natural texture, length, and stage of their journey.
If anything, I think the natural hair movement has brought more women together and has caused us to uplift each other and genuinely acknowledge each other’s beauty. I’ve never received this much affirmation, love, and encouragement from other women in my life. It was alway battles, jealousy, and tearing down of one another. I love how our hair has finally started to bring us together, and there is great beauty in that.
Oh–and I am not saying there is never a time where I am feeling myself too much– not at all. Because I am human and I am not perfect– WE ALL make mistakes ! We all have issues! But lets please please PLEASE– make life easier for everyone. Wear your hair HOW you want it. Whether it’s relaxed, weaves, natural, curly, long, short–whatever. Take your selfies if you want (not too many though because that’s just plain annoying. I don’t care if you’re Halle Berry– I would like to see the rest of my timeline please). And have FUN. Beauty is fun. That’s why we are girls. Us women like to get dressed up, put on our makeup and be girly, and men like to play video games and watch football all day or whatever *borrrringgg*. Its okayyy!!! It’s not that deep ladies.