I just got back from dropping my baby– MY BABY, LAWD!!– off at her pre-k Montessori situation and although that ugly cry kept creeping up into my throat, I managed to make it all the way back to the car without entirely losing my shit. I only stayed for about 10 minutes and in that time, witnessed-
1. Gia make 2 new friends
2. kids throwing tantrums when their parents tried to leave
3. parents throwing tantrums when told, ‘you’re only making it worse, please leave’
4. Gia take her seat on the circle and put her hands in her lap, smiling… cooler than a cooler.
I was watching all of this play out in between very frequent iPhone checks, which was my transparent and struggly attempt at distracting myself from feeling my feelings (I decided I’d eat them later). At one point, just when I was doing some positive internal dialogue to keep from crying in public, I could see Boogie’s teacher approaching from my periphery. I knew ‘talking about it’ was gonna send me over the edge and sweet baby Jesus knew it too because she walked right up and asked, ‘you’re the one with the hair blog, right? Your hair is beautiful.’ And I smiled, the tears receded and we had a quick chat about hurr and things un-related to my baby not being a baby anymore. And that was it.
As I walked back to the car, eyes all sweatin’, feeling down, I realized I could listen to ratchet music (not *’do you wanna build a snow mannnnn?’* ) on my way home, and I perked up a bit. And I drove to the gas station, went in and bought a Twix and a strawberry soda (that I will enjoy in bed later) and when the attendant told me to have a nice day, I burst into tears.