You know that amazing feeling when-
- they finally drop the beat?
- Bae has you at that angle?!
- your twists were like ‘barely’, but your twist-out is BOMB?!
- Bae tells you that you can upgrade that rock (again-again)?
What if I told you that you can feel these good feels all the time? And that these ‘positive’ circumstances are just empty symbols, permission slips that allow you to relax your mind long enough to experience your default state of love, joy and happiness? Choosing to wait for that tax refund, that promotion, that ‘perfect weight’… choosing to wait for ‘symbols’ or ‘permission slips’ before you allow yourself to feel happy is a CHOICE. A tragic one, actually. But you already knew that, you just forgot.
In a previous post, we discussed how the world you perceive ‘OUTSIDE’ of you, reflects what’s ‘INSIDE’ of you. Our circumstances don’t actually dictate our mood, but since we’ve believed this for so long, it certainly appears that way. If you’re fed up with feeling crappy, or worse, ‘just regular’… like, ‘whatevs’, and you want to feel incredible and excited about your life, then you have to break the cycle. Yep, that cycle you didn’t even know yo’ ass was in.
If your circumstances take their direction from you, but you’re taking direction from your circumstances, can you see why you’re all struggly? For example– you’ve disrespected your finances two months in a row, and have more bills than money. Naturally, you feel ‘struggly’. Your circumstances pick up on the struggle and serve up even more struggly circumstances for you to feel all struggly about. #Looped #PoThang
We can break this dreadful cycle by choosing happiness, joy and appreciation in spite of struggly circumstances. And yes, this sounds counter-intuitive and yes, it will feel incredibly fake, but keep at it until feeling good for no reason feels just as natural to you as feeling bad or ‘just regular’ feels today. For a while, you’ll still see #TheStruggle looking back at you, but if you remain persistent in your decision to #ChooseHappiness, you’ll watch everything around you (the reflection) mold and shift to the new you. The moment you stop needing ‘stuff’ to make you happy, will be the moment that ‘stuff’ just shows up… effortlessly! #NeedNothing #ManifestEverything
I’ve already shared tips on how I choose happiness (be mindful, just choose, listen to music), but I wanted to add a few more things–
(1) How would you feel if?
Play this game until you can simply choose happiness.
Sit down somewhere quiet, close your eyes and imagine what it would feel like if _______ (insert awesome ish you desire, here). It doesn’t matter what ‘it’ is because remember, ‘it’ is just an empty symbol to allow yourself to feel good! ‘It’ could be Idris following you on Twitter, a new car, or a trip to Brazil. Whatever ‘it’ is, imagine what it would feel like to have ‘it’ right NOW… right here. This is important. Don’t watch yourself turning up in an Brazilian club like you’re watching a movie, or viewing yourself form the third-person. I want you to see that Brazilian #TurnUp from your first-person point of view (you only ever see your torso, legs, feet and arms, but never your face, unless you’re looking in a mirror– think first-person video game). See your arm reaching out to grab that Caipirinha from the bartender, look over and see your BFF’s smiling face… she’s clearly lit, lol, look down and see your body gettin’ it when the DJ drops the beat!
Once you feel ‘it’ (for me it’s like little tingly waves/vibrations/light pleasurable contractions in my tummy– like post orgasm #TMI), stay there and remember how ‘it’ feels. Pretty soon, you’ll be able to feel those good, tingly feels without imagining any symbols. It’ll be instant and you can choose that vibration all the time!
Pay attention to the good feels the next time something awesome happens to you. What happens in your body? Again, with awareness, you’ll be able to access this same feeling without symbols or imagination. Alternatively, you can follow the steps in the above bullet, but use a past triumph/award in place of ‘it’ or the thing desired. Either way, the purpose is to get familiar with what the happy feeling feels like, so that you can feel it anytime, no matter the situation. Remember, it’s your default state, so that good feeling is always there, it’s just that thoughts and negative beliefs (‘I can only feel happy if______ happens’) covers it up. You really don’t have to do anything to feel it, but STOP and BE.
(3) Keep tabs.
Motivation to keep this up can be a challenge. It seems like a lot of effort at first, and again, it’ll feel fake. But you have to stay with it. I found that it helped to keep a running tab in my iPhone Notes of the good ish that was showing up in my life. The more awesomeness you see reflected because of your simple shift in mood, the more you’ll be likely to stay the course. This has the added bonus of tapping into gratitude (for the good in your life) and then circumstances will have no choice but to give you more to be grateful for!
p.s. Please don’t take my word for it. Just give it a try…unless what you’re doing right now is working for you… naw? Then what do you have to lose?! Give it a day… give it a week… go for a month and #JustWatch
p.p.s. This is not to say that ‘bad things won’t ever happen. But you’ll notice that you’ll be in a better mental space to cope with the ‘bad stuff’. You’ll also find that you won’t stay down as long as you used to. For instance, you’ll allow yourself to grieve the loss of a loved one, but at the same time feel their presence right there with you, even in that terrible moment. You’ll still experience sadness, but there will be an unshakable peace and joy right under the surface. #BeStill #HesHere