I met Gene the first day of undergrad in the middle of nowhere Missouri. We’ve been rocking for 16 years now, married for 9. We’ve been pregnant 3 times but we have 2 children.
After having Gia, we never actively tried for more, but we weren’t actively preventing either. I always knew when I was ovulating and other than the pregnancy that resulted in miscarriage about 3 years after Gia’s birth, we had it down to a whole, entire science. The talk of more kids would come up occasionally, but then we’d decide to go to Africa, or buy another Benz, or do Christmas in Japan or move to D.C. We loved the flexibility of the one ‘little’ and had relaxed into our three-person family.
Fast forward to last May. I was on my way to St. Louis for my sister’s bachelorette party early on the 27th and Gene wanted to send me off right. But it was too right and I told my sister that night when I got to town—I was like, I’m definitely pregnant and 9 months later, here comes Max’s ass. So with our little family complete the doctors were talking about birth control options and I was listening hella hard. But the pills make me sick and after 16 years of awesomeness, condoms are a definite nope. Which left the Mirena or a tubal. My doc highly recommended the IUD/Mirena and told me that she’s on her third one. I did my research, and about 2 months post-partum, I had that little devil inserted. I didn’t cry, but it wasn’t fun, with the needles in your cervix and the cramping and the excessive, sporadic bleeding that went on for months. But after all of that calmed down, it was pretty dope. We were finally living, y’all. The freedom… effing amazing.
And then it started.
It’s been two weeks now and every single night I’m awakened not just by a hungry Max, or a frightened Gia or a horny husband, but by REAL pain shooting from my left hip down to the sole of my foot. It’s horrible and apparently a common side effect. Hip and joint pain. Feels like arthritis. I’m getting this bitch out STAT. I don’t have the weight gain or painful sex or cystic acne or loss of libido, but feeling like a 80 year old is not worth the delicious freedom it’s delivered. I’m getting it out on the 9th and have no idea what I’m gonna do.