By Kira Sparkles
Recently, I decided to make a huge change in my life by applying for a job in a field I’m only somewhat familiar with. I touched up my resume and was rejected so many times I wondered if I was meant to permanently be a barista until after three months of applying, something finally clicked.
As it turns out, this job also wanted me to train in a different city for two weeks (all expenses paid!). I was elated! New job! Amazing pay, benefits, and a city I’d never seen!
So why was I also scared?
No matter how you slice it, change is scary for the same reason that it’s exciting. A brand new endeavor sounds great from the outside, but once you’re in the thick of change, it feels like you’re losing your mind, and why would you not? Everything is turned upside-down from what you know. So what can we do to be comfortable when things feel so UNcomfortable?
I remembered in the chaos of change that I asked for change. I wanted to shake things up in my life and I knew that I would change for the better with it. I couldn’t just stay stagnant and complacent in a job that made me unhappy. That’s why I started job hunting in the first place. I wanted more. I deserved more. I would be selling myself short if I didn’t.
Even with this knowledge, I sat in my hotel room the first night staring out at the city below me and I felt that uncomfortable feeling sit heavy with me.
I opened my laptop and quickly turned on some music. Thank God for being able to take my playlist with me. The familiarity made me feel better.
I started asking myself what I could do at that moment to make myself feel even better. I opened my emails and stared at the hundreds that had piled up and sat to work sorting it out. I deleted all my rejections. I deleted old subscriptions I didn’t read. The repetition and the sense of progress felt good too.
While it didn’t stop the inner voice from asking, “What am I doing?!” Over-and-over-again in a frenzied panic, it did turn the volume from a twenty to at least a five.
I don’t know what I’m doing, but I didn’t know what I was doing when I was a new barista either. Or before I got accepted into college. Or even during my first day of high school.
These milestones that happen in life force us out of our comfort zone, but being uncomfortable isn’t terrible. Being uncomfortable means that great things that we care about are just around the corner. That there are things in our life that are worth being uncomfortable for whether it’s more money, finding the love of our life or following a dream.
As I finished clearing my inbox, my phone buzzed with a text from one of my friends, “How are you doing okay?”
I smiled as I scooped it up to message back: “I’m doing just fine.”
I may not have everything figured out, but it’s part of the process.