Google Header -->
Skip to main content
Curly Nikki

Admit It or Not We’ve all Dated a Stevie J.

Admit It or Not We've all Dated a Stevie J.
Photo via Hollywood Life
By Michelby Coco Whitehead

Like many music lovers, I have been waiting not so patiently for real R&B to make a comeback. Last week my wish kind of came true; however, nobody told me it would come through the seemingly drunk in love nuptials of Faith Evans and Stevie J… Let us pray.


Admit It or Not We've all Dated a Stevie J.
Faith in ‘Missing You’ video
We were all rooting for Faith. My big sister Danielle ran to the store and brought a plastic-looking “Faith coat” after seeing Puff Daddy’s “I’ll Be Missing You” video. She cried like a fool in love when she thought she lost it one weekend. We fans only wanted the best for Faith, much like we protested Mary’s marriage to Kendu.

True indeed, Faith has had her own questionable affairs, but this new union has thrown everyone for a loop. But we have to remember that celebrities are still people at the end of the day, and having lots of money and fame doesn’t equate to the ability to make sound decisions all the time. In fact, the more outlandish their behavior, the more they remain relevant, which is why “Stebie” is a household name today, courtesy of his toxic love triangle with Joseline Hernandez and Mimi Faust on Love & Hip Hop Atlanta.

Even though we’re looking at Faith sideways for getting involved with him, we also need to look in the mirror. Haven’t we all dated a guy whose reputation was Grade-A trash despite the petitions, cries, screenshots, prophetic dreams and shade-throwing of family and friends? Maybe you were blindsided and had no clue of his prior offenses in relationships. That was my dilemma once upon a time, but once I gathered receipts and stories from his family that he was indeed lazy, crazy, and overly entitled, I served him an eviction notice–literally!

But there is another category of women who will blissfully walk into a situation knowing all the man’s jacked up background and still try to turn a clown into a husband. Maybe you were desperate for love, money, or a place to stay and thought you could make it work for the greater good. Or maybe, you’re the type who goes against the grain to prove that you can “fix” a man because you’re “better” than his ex-girlfriends, only to discover that you’re not qualified to play Iyanla 

Admit It or Not We've all Dated a Stevie J.
and that a leopard never changes his spots. Sooner or later you get a rude awakening when the dust settles, and the relationship dissolves.
Finally, there are some of us who know we have a Stebie and are still with him, ignoring his red flags and painting a different version of him to the public so it matches our fantasy. For what, sis? If you fall into this category, you need to spend some time alone and with real friends who can help you figure out what void you’re trying to fill by holding on to him the way my sister Danielle held on to that cheap and highly flammable jacket.

And let’s be clear about what a Stevie J. consists of. Your Stevie doesn’t literally have to have beaucoup kids and make promises of turning strippers into the next one hit wonder. You know good and well what disrespect and manipulation looks like on television and in your own life. Real love awaits you, but you have to put on your “faith coat” until it shows up.

So let’s not go too hard on Faith Evans and her decision to become Mrs. Steven Jordan. Hopefully, she and Stevie can have a great marriage… but if it doesn’t work out, we look forward to her writing some bomb songs about love and pain. You just never know how this will play out, but in any event, we’ll be watching.

Faith Evans featuring Stevie J.
“A Minute”

Have you dated a Stevie J.? 
Admit It or Not We've all Dated a Stevie J.

A woman of the bayou pimping my pen because I’m scared of a day job. You can find me somewhere telling stories like Nas and Terry McMillan on April Fool’s day. Writing is life so follow me on IG @cococurator 

Leave a Reply