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Curly Nikki

Woman Up, Man Down? My Struggle Not To Emasculate My Man As An Alpha Female

By January 27th, 2021One Comment
Woman Up, Man Down? My Struggle Not To Emasculate My Man As An Alpha Female
Source: LaylaBird / Getty
We are currently amid a feminist uprising unlike any other. Now, more than ever, women are taking a stand and using their voices to speak out against any and all injustices that impact the female gender. In conjunction with this feminist uprising, there is a more significant presence of alpha females. These strong, take-charge women are successful, independent, and committed to living according to the book of Beyoncé. We’re basically running the world; but are we running our male companions away too?

Since the beginning of time, there have been women running things and making their own moves, just ask Adam. Yeah, Eve made a bad decision, but she took charge and made her own choice, and that is definitely one of the characteristics of an alpha female. I think we all know that while alpha females have always been a thing, we weren’t always as free to do our thing as we are now. There was a time when strong women had to hide behind men and stay in a woman’s so-called place. Those women were just as strong, independent, intelligent and capable as we are today, but they had to dumb themselves down because of society’s standards.
Long gone are the days of women suppressing our strengths to accommodate men, conforming to society, or waiting to be saved by some knight in shining armor. Alpha females are showing up, putting in work and saving ourselves. We understand our power and potential doesn’t rely on anyone other than God and us (duh). But as a girl who was raised by alpha females, there was one thing that always bothered me that I have tried to avoid as an alpha female myself. Growing up, I witnessed many of the women around me were either unable to maintain relationships or were in relationships with men they emasculated. My mother, a beautiful, strong woman, emasculated my step-father most of their marriage, and I hated it. I would always say, “when I have a man, I’m not going to do that to him.” However, now I see that it is much easier said than done.
Yeah, I know that the Bible says the man should be the head, but what if he isn’t capable? Should I allow my life to be in shambles while waiting for a man to be a man? During a recent Facebook conversation discussing alpha females, a friend of mine made a valid point when she explained how we got into this predicament. “An entire generation of Black men were absent, which forced mothers to teach their daughters to be more efficient and independent.,” she stated. “We had to adapt and now our men must do the same.” I felt that.
When I consider the male/female relationship, I must acknowledge the fact that somebody’s got to be on top (pun intended). However, being strong doesn’t equate to being mean, dismissive, or inconsiderate. There is a time to turn up and use your strength and there is a time to turn down and follow someone else’s lead. This has proven to be a challenge for both alpha females and alpha males.

One Comment

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