I’m calling all of my fellow Black women into the auditorium for a quick announcement with my bullhorn in my hand. I am going to say this once and for all: “Black Women it is okay to LUXURIATE”! Yes you read that correctly. I do not know about you; but, growing up in the Caribbean/traditional church community I grew up in, it was not common to see women enjoying- without guilt- the finer things in life. There was a lot of “hmm, that would be nice; but, we cannot afford it.” Or, the ever so and still very present, “Oh I can do it myself.” Even worse if a Black woman took too much care of herself, she would be labeled as “siddity” or “bougie” or in some cases “acting white”. Unfortunately this narrative continues to move throughout some conversations that happen in our society today.
There is nothing wrong with saving money for a rainy day or being magical with “them” hands; however, I always feel like women especially those in the Black community tend to put their desires to the wayside and I mean that in every sense of the word “desires”. For the purpose of this article I will only discuss “luxuries” and leave other things like “The Black Women and Sexuality” for another day. I am not sure if we are far enough liberated in our community to openly discuss that yet; but, when I am led to deep dive into that one… listen, I will. Back to the matters at hand, It is okay for us to take care of ourselves without feeling bad or shame. Moreover, some of the luxuries of life I am thinking of DO NOT REQUIRE money. I will tell you what is one of the most expensive things money can never give you back once it is gone is- Time.
Here is one way to make the best use of your time:
Most of the health problems that are plaguing our communities come from lack of sleep and too much stress. Are you one of those people who have to keep moving and going? Have you ever felt like not doing anything for a day is a sin or wrong? If you answered yes to either of those questions, you ma’am have a problem. Maybe you can try and evaluate why you feel like devoting time to yourself makes you feel uncomfortable.
Luxury Remedy: Everyday in some way try to sit still for at least 5 minutes. Try this: close your eyes, turn off your phone, tv, computer etc, and just be. You CAN do 5 minutes a day. Nikki has a wonderful Zoom meditation group running now. It’s LIT. You can find the link here if you are interested in taking your “me time” up a notch.
Please keep in mind: doing “nothing” does not make you lazy. You are not less of a woman if you are tired or just want a break. You are not less of a woman if you need to outsource some your house work or dinner for the night. You can still be a “round a way” girl and like nicer things in life. Just remember you cannot be your best self without first caring for yourself.