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Curly Nikki

For CurlyNikki Members Only!!!

By January 27th, 202126 Comments

Happy Sunday Chicas!

As I was rinsing the henna out of my hair this morning, I had some time to think…a lot of time, lol.

Christmas is in a few days, and many of us are traveling home to see our family and friends. Although these reunions are mostly positive, every now and then we have that one family member that MUST speak his/her mind about our natural hair. Although I’ve been wearing my hair in its natural state for 3 years now, I have one uncle that says the same thing every time I see him- “I’m gonna get you a comb for Christmas…hahahaha- when are you going to do something to that head?!.” I don’t take it personally, but sometimes those statements (i.e. ‘what you gonna do with it?’ ‘why did you cut off all that pretty hair?’ ‘You depressed?’), get OLD. Most of the time, it’s all in gest, and some of their comments may even be well intentioned, but sometimes, it can be hurtful and unfortunately cause us to feel a bit self-conscious.

The question I’m posing today is, what do you say, or do? I’m not a confrontational person, and I’m definitely not the ‘quickest’, when it comes to respectful yet witty comebacks. I always find myself 2 days after the situation thinking, ‘I should’ve said this…or, I could’ve said that.” Not to be bitchy, but we need a way to express ourselves in a way that’ll educate the person, and also show them how ridic and unwanted their comments are.

The MEMBER (members of CurlyNikki.com only) with the wittiest/most clever/to the point comeback will win The Jane Carter Solution Condition and Sculpt, and Revitalizing Leave-in-Conditioner (trial sizes). I received these in my free sample pack a few weeks ago, but I’ve already tried them. You can leave your comments right here, and on Christmas Eve, I’ll pick the winner! As usual, the winner will email me her address, and I’ll drop the goodies in the mail.

Thanks for being a member of CurlyNikki.com!!!

Nik

26 Comments

  • CURLYNIKKI says:

    These are all GREAT! Thanks for your responses, lol!!!! I have a hard decision to make tomorrow…not looking forward to it 🙁

  • Anonymous says:

    My grandma always starts in on me when I go there. I haven’t really had any good comebacks as yet. It’s really annoying becuase I will try to tell her I like my hair and she will just say “no you don’t.”

    But I think this is what I am going to say in a few days when I go up for Christmas. Keep in mind she’s very religious so I think this will shut her up pretty quick.

    Grandma: “I can’t be letting my granddaughter walk around with her hair all nappy, you gotta go to my hair dresser, she get it all pressed and silky for you.”

    Me: “Thanks grandma, but I think I’m gonna let the hair God gave me come out of my scalp for now.”

  • Anonymous says:

    I have a close family friend who asks me why my hair is the way it is everytime I see them.. I reply, “STOP HARASSING ME. You ask me that same DUMB question every time I see you, the answer hasn’t changed.”

    No random people have ever commented negatively on my hair. If someone were to do so, it would probably go something like this..
    Woman: Oooooh, girl! You need to do somethin’ about that head!
    Me: Ooooh, girl! I will once you get that mustache lined up! Oh-kayyyy!

    Needless to say, I’m kind of rude. So what?

  • HoneyChild says:

    Well I’m sweet as pie but I have my witty moments….

    Uncle: “I’m gonna get you a comb for Christmas…hahahaha- when are you going to do something to that head?!.”

    Me: “When you gonna learn some manners?”

    OR

    Me: “Go watch your wife’s head and leave my husband to watch mine.”

  • HoneyChild says:

    Well, I’m as sweet as pie but I have my witty moments….

    Uncle: “I’m gonna get you a comb for Christmas…hahahaha- when are you going to do something to that head?!”

    Me: “When you gonna learn some manners?”

    OR

    Me: “Go watch your wife’s head and let my husband watch mine.”

  • Unknown says:

    Hey CN,

    I know this topic all too well. My Uncle Glenn and I have this discussion all the time (Round 9 million7 is coming up on Thursday). I know my comebacks my be a little much but trust me they all end with him saying “Well I guess you told me I’ll mind my business” and I’ll say “Thanks, love ya too”

    Here are some of my classics

    uncle glenn “gurl when you going to comb your hair”

    me “the day after you comb yours”

    uncle glenn “why you walking around with your hair looking a nappy mess”

    me “I’m trying to look like your current girlfriend”

    uncle glenn “you know you never going to find a man with that hair looking like that”

    me “really, so why hasn’t a woman found you yet”

    Last one

    uncle glenn “why you cut your hair off like that”

    me “because unlike yours mine will grow back better and stronger”

  • Unknown says:

    Hey CN,

    I know this topic all too well. My Uncle Glenn and I have this discussion all the time (matter of fact I need to get ready, round 9million6 is coming up on Thurs). I know my comebacks may be a little much but trust me they all end with him saying “Well I guess you told me I’ll mind my business now” and I’ll say “Thanks, love ya too”

    Here are some of my classics

    uncle glenn “gurl when you going to comb your hair”

    me “the day after you comb yours, oh wait you don’t have any hair”

    uncle glenn “why you walking around with your hair looking a nappy mess”

    me “I’m trying to look like you”

    uncle glenn “you know you never going to find a man with that hair looking like that”

    me “really, so why hasn’t a woman found you yet”

    Last one

    uncle glenn “why you cut your hair off like that”

    me “because unlike yours mine will grow back better and stronger, nice hairpiece btw unc”

    BTW – my uncle use to wear put all kinds chemical mess in his hair, no he has no choice but to rock it bald.

  • Suburbanbushbabe says:

    My reply would be, “Are you always this negative?”

  • Anonymous says:

    Well Nikki I would (slowly) shake my hair from side to side. And say well honey, this is my naturale hair. I don’t need that creamy crack to make my hair straight. It’s a new me. My new hair. If I could embrace my naturale African kinky hair than you should do the same pops.

  • Anonymous says:

    My response would be…

    “It’s already naturally beautiful, what else is there to do?”

  • Anonymous says:

    Hey Nikki!

    I think we've all been through this in some way, shape or form.

    If your uncle says to you:
    "I'm gonna get you a comb for Christmas…hahahaha- when are you going to do something to that head?!."

    Try responding with:
    Man uncle! I've been trying to do something with this head of hair, but I've been waiting on you to hurry up and get me a wide tooth comb so I can hook my hair up! Although, at this point I think you owe me more than a just a comb! Get a pen and paper…let's make a list! I need some henna, devacurl, pantene r&n, etc!

    Then you could just laugh it off and be like, seriously uncle I love wearing my hair big and natural! It's just me! Plus I still have long hair (you could stretch it to show him). Only difference is that my hair is way healthier now 🙂 You could also tell him that your natural hair has made you an online celebrity 🙂

  • Anonymous says:

    I’d just smile and say “ya know unc, I think we should focus more on what’s IN my head instead of ON it!”

  • Maria says:

    My grandfather usually teases me. I love him so I let him slide. It used to be “Don’t come over until you comb that crazy hair of yours” to which I always replied “you’re just jealous because you’re bald and I have hair” LOL He stopped after a while.

    I had one male cousin say to me “What the hell is this” (pointing to my hair) to which I replied “Try growing out your hair and guess what, its probably nappier than mine!” LOL He said he didn’t have nappy hair. I reminded him that his mom and sis sure as hell did. I don’t usually like to use nappy and talk down to family members, but don’t mess with my kids, money or hair ha ha ha

    CurlyNikki, I wouldn’t even bother with him. Tell him your husband sure likes it.

  • Anonymous says:

    “You tell God you don’t like how he made me and let me know what he says.”

  • Natural Hair Rules!!! says:

    Well, I don’t have anything witty. But when it comes to family I try honesty first. I would let him know “you say that every year”. And that it was getting old and a little offensive.

  • Anonymous says:

    Family member: I don’t know how you deal with all that hair! I think straight hair is so much prettier!

    Me: Well then, I guess it’s a good thing this hairs on my head and not yours. Merry Christmas!

  • Mlle M. says:

    LOL at D Luv! Girl you ARE quick! I wish I could come up with something half that funny on the spot.

    Usually my fam is pretty positive about my hair, fortunately. People are way more likely to say something about what I eat (no meat) than my hair. The same response strategy applies. If the person is a repeat offender (e.g., that uncle), I don’t even address the topic but turn it back on him: “You’ve been giving me that tired old line for five years now. Next year I want you to think of something different to say when you see me.” (Laugh, walk away.)

    Alternatively, “I don’t say anything about your hair (or what’s on your plate)! Don’t be rude. I know you have more home training than that.” (Laugh, walk away.)

  • Anonymous says:

    thankfully, my family has grown out of making comments like, “why do you let your hair get so nappy?!?” or “Doesn’t your boyfriend want to see you with your hair nice and done. You should press it for him!”

    My signature reply, in my nicest, sweetest voice is, “It’s not a secret, but I’m black. It’s supposed to be nappy…”

  • Anonymous says:

    Although I often try to not be bitchy with those who mean well but don’t know well, my inner me often ends up coming out that way, but seeing as how I often get the looks, snide comments, or “insightfully helpful” comments you mentioned above a fave comeback of mine is, “I am doing something with my head…keeping it real. But I know some folks can’t remember the last time anthing they were rocking on their head was homegrown so I’ll let that last comment slide”. I often end this retort with a million-watt flashbulb smile which more often that not stuns them into beautiful silence.

  • Anonymous says:

    I just laugh it off because half the time some family members don’t know how to respond with something positive. They want you to be confrontational. Just be you and say I’m beautiful just the way I am.

  • D_luv says:

    Hey Nik —

    Unlike you, I always have a comeback (it’s mostly a curse). My exchange with uncle might be something like:

    uncle: I’m gonna get you a comb for Christmas…hahahaha- when are you going to do something to that head?!

    me: Why don’t you just give me the ones you’re obviously not using? You know combing less will slow that hair loss down *points to his hair*…FYI. (snicker)

    So when I was natural for 7 yrs before this last BC (I went back to a perm… see my fotki for the whole story: dluvlylox), I had this one aunt who would always say: “so when’s the black power phase gonna be over?” To which I would reply: Uncle Ben and Aunt Jemima called. The time of ya’ll club meeting has been changed. Are you really asking me when I’ll stop being proud of being black?

    She would also frequently ask: “when you gonna get a perm?” while staring at my hair with a disgusted look. To that one I would always say something along the lines of “Probably the same day I start caring what you think. The 12th of never?”

    Like I said Nik, I got a big mouth on me, and I’m not too interested in educating people who say those kinds of things to me because they’re not asking me about my hair. They’re ((telling)) me about my hair.

    I know this was long, but I hope it helps!

  • Anonymous says:

    I always say, I just want to be the way GOD made me. My mom always raves about my BC(the more it grows out) a backwards way of saying – Are you really going to grow that hair?! I always respond with -I know you like it short but Im letting it grow and grow and grow! or Im going to let it grow all the way to my butt! I told a weave wearing co-worker once who always harrased me- Girl, I just couldnt take the chems, glue, and fake hair anymore, its such a releif to really be me.

  • The Butter Babe says:

    If your uncle says “I’m gonna buy you a comb for Christmas” Say this. ” Please make sure it a wide tooth one so I won’t break it” lol

  • SA says:

    Heh, I don’t say anything. I just stare at the person with a stupid smile on my face (and maybe slowly nod my head) until they get embarrassed and/or uncomfortable and leave me alone. Sometimes silence is golden. 🙂

  • Anonymous says:

    I do not have the cleverest comeback but I do have a respectful one, a comeback that comes from my heart.

    … “I have come to a point in my life where I do not have to compete or conform to the Eurocentric ideal of beauty; I am able to express myself uniquely among a sea of women with the same ordinary hairstyle. My beauty (in the natural state) allows me to show people the way God intended my beauty to be. I am not living my life for (the person your speaking with) but God and only me and Him understand my hair tribulations I have been through all these years; and now with my hair I am free from all that and able to accept and love me for me.”

    P.S. you can steal some of these lines. 🙂

  • LW says:

    Gee, I’ve really come to like the hair I was born with!

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