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Curly Nikki

What the Hell?

By January 27th, 202167 Comments

Submitted by Michelle:

I am a big fan of yours. Every day I look forward to seeing what you’ve posted and I can’t wait to hear about your great hair advice.

My husband sent me this link and it really made me angry. I could not believe

that this was actually real.

Really?! I didn’t make it past 40 seconds. Incredibly painful to watch and it does classify as abuse.


  • Anonymous says:

    wow thats horrible! im surprised the little princess has that much hair if thats what the styling sessions are like!

  • Jocelyn says:

    Ok I'm WAY late, and like many of you I am disgusted…and not only with the video, but also with a couple of the comments on here. Some seem to think this is not something to be taken seriously. Idk what kind of styling sessions you had as a child or what kind you have with your children, but this goes above and beyond any rough styling session I've ever seen, and cannot be attributed to the child being tenderheaded. This woman was ripping through that child's hair, and I wanted that child to do a lot more than the screaming and kicking she was already doing. Who could sit still through that ABUSE??? No one should have to! Not when there are ways to do it that would cause far less pain and get far better results. Any GOOD parent would want that. Even if you didn't think the hair ripping was abuse then you should have at least been appalled at the woman cursing the child out. That is not ok. Also somebody seemed to think all was ok b/c the kids had clothes and the house was semi-decent looking. Let me assure you that abuse is not limited to the poverty stricken but can be found in wealthy households, also. Someone said ppl should mind their own business. It takes a village to raise a child. If everyone thought like that all the time then children undergoing extreme abuse would never be rescued. What scares me is thinking that if she's doing this on camera now, what else is she doing off camera. Like many of you, I want somebody to rip a comb through her hair/weave and see if she's ok with that.

  • Anonymous says:


  • Anonymous says:

    That poor little kid has a head of lush gorgeous hair, hair I would maim for, but will never know it- having my daughter last year (she's biracial) I feel utterly responsible for learning how to care for not only her hair, but my own. I remember the feelings of lacking and wanting something I could never have, and have no desire for her to experience the same.
    On a lighter note… I've been diggin this website hardcore for the last week…been natural for about 7 years now, and it has its ups and downs, locs, twists and fros and all, but it's always been me. All this great tips from women who know the deal on natural kinky hair and its unique set of requirements for good health, body, mind and soul is essential. My momma still has no clue why I bother, but I just don't see the point in trying to make sumthin' that ain't never gonna happen happen! Keep it real, ladies….

  • Anonymous says:

    I'm sooo mad at this video… My head hurts just looking a it I always wanted a daughter to do her hair and things but she don't know that she is blessed with her kids and that is crazy… I know and I know she knew how to comb dat little girl head and thats not how u do it… U suppose to part in 4 different sections do one part first then do to the next… She disgust me and deserve whats comin to her.

  • April says:

    That is so awful… dear God.

  • nadienne says:

    I wanna know… who brushes out curly hair PERIOD… and even then… WHO DOES IT BONE DRY!? When I see this stuff, I just wanna gather up people and tell them to stop abusing your hair– learn to live and love what you've got! GET OFF THE CREAMY CRACK! if you want it straight, press it out! Heat does less damage than chemicals… but this lady was straight-up disgusting. the fact that she had on her pocahontas weave while her child rocked a painful buckwheat fro… ugh, disgusting. i have a migrane after watching this whole video…

  • SoBeSoNatural says:

    My stomach was hurting when I finished watching this! I watched the entire thing and it is sickening. Clearly this mother is confused about healthy interactions with her child and the fact that another child was video taping this and finding it amusing is even more absurd. Someone else stated the child was wrong, the child was not wrong, the child learned her behaviors from her surroundings. There is NO EXCUSE for how violent her mother was being with her (actions and words), had there not been such rough brushing with the wrong type of brush the child would not have been nearly as spastic. I am also sure that the mother does NOT brush or comb her hair that hardly so why would she do that with her child? Her mother truly needs a lesson in proper hair care and proper mother/child interaction. I feel so much pain for that little girl!

  • Renabme says:

    Wow!… My childhood wasn't that bad, but I remember days like that. My mom would comb my hair, and it would hurt soo bad! I feel for that poor little girl.

  • Anonymous says:

    This was very painful and upsetting to watch. I could not watch the entire video. I hope the agency will be contacting her soon.

  • LuvDeluxe says:

    Okay, so I just watched it with sound, TERRIBLE, but I still came to the same conclusion both the woman and the child are wrong but the adult in this is 150% wrong. For those of you wanted her to be investigated, both children look well kept the house was decent, and their hair was actually beautiful. On the other hand the only one being abused with intent was the woman. That kid hit,kicked squirmed, threw tantrums, & yelled obscenities, and again that is the ADULT'S fault because by the time a child gets to that age they should have been taught how to behave. There is no easy answers when deciding on taking a child out of a home.

  • LuvDeluxe says:

    I watched the whole thing to the end (with no sound) and although I believe the ADULT is 100% in the wrong conduct wise, made not styling/detangling progress, and has could use some help with her technique, I did not see anywhere on her face (body language) to support that she was enjoying this. And the child (although the victim) is not a complete angel. If I would have behaved like that my mom would have put her hands on me for real. I would not be here today (making the big eyes). If you watch the whole vid you will see that the child never really got diciplined. Her punishment arguably was the session. But if you really watch you will see that the child's reactions really reverted any misguided progress the woman made. Both the woman and the child exasperated the entire hair session. I am going to watch it with the sound on. I am sure it will make it even worse.

  • Professah Monee says:

    I heard there was a part two , where the (sorry excuse for a) woman stabbing the poor baby girl in the head with the pick. I hope that's just a rumor. BUt I will keep looking for the video and update yall on that one.

  • Anonymous says:

    That is really sick. What is sad is the mother knows she doesn't comb her own hair that way. Just really sick. I'm with most I couldn't watch past a minute. Wished this video could be traced.

  • Anonymous says:

    Okay…I only watched about 1 minute of this video and I want to kick that woman's a**. What she was doing to that child was vicious, thoughtless and absolutely ignorant. I mean, she never thought was parting the childs hair in small sections (using some type of moisturizer or leave-in conditioner) to detangle this child's head. But what killed me the most was the person taking this video, laughing at this horrible process.

  • JaysMom85 says:

    WOW!!! Thats all I have to say. Its just sad

  • PamelaAnderson96 says:

    The only thing that is good about this video is that we are all disgusted by it. I am crying after watching it, so much hatred was in that five mins of hell. I sincerely hope that each and every one of us will stand up for a child of a friend or loved one if we see this in person.

  • Anonymous says:

    when i was little i would have regular sessions like this. i think my mom was just tired and i was tender-headed as hell. didn't remember them until i saw this video. hope the little girl can block it all out.

  • Anonymous says:

    I hop;e they find out who both of these women are. The one filming…laughing thinking this is entertainment. The woman combing the little girl's hair is basically "pulling it out" from the root. That is painful and labeling that child's hair as Nappy is SO wrong.

  • Natural Newbie's says:

    How sickening. Really- does anyone comb/brush their hair like that. When she takes her weave out does she yank a brush through it and just pull hair and knots out? Thats crazy, there is no way to look at this except as abuse. Even if you were raised like this you would try to do better for your children, the lil girl is grabbing her head and her feet are (I dont know the term but Ive made the move when in pain) she is torturing the child and having fun with it. Then the camera woman says, we have to get out those demons! Really!? OMG these ladies have issues and I hope this woman has paid attention to the response and gotten an education on doing natural hair. Just yuck.

  • Anonymous says:

    She's definitely going to hate her hair when she gets older! I wish my mom or my grandma could do her hair because they would not be rolling all on the floor with the child just to rip out that poor girl's knots. Kids are going to dislike getting their hair done but who can sit for that long when you're that young?

    The problem really is how negative they are about the girl's hair, and that is definitely the worst brushing technique I have ever seen! 🙁

  • Cygnet says:

    There are a couple of wondrous things here: That the little girl has as much hair as she does, with the way the woman was ripping at it with the brush. That the woman hadn't gotten any more violent with the child by the end of the video. That the woman hasn't gone and relaxed the child's hair if she's having that much of a fit trying to style it every time.

    Yes, we'd like her to grow up natural, but scenes just like that are the reasons so many women who don't know enough about how to maintain naturally textured hair take their children for relaxers at that age. For many, it's a much kinder alternative than what I just witnessed.

    And the screaming from the other child, the laughter from the person recording, and the Linkin Park soundtrack blaring in the background as counterpoint to the girl screaming and the woman cursing didn't help.

    Someone needs to sit both the woman and the person recording down for a serious talking-to and some natural haircare instructions.

    Of course, it's entirely possible, maybe even probable, that the woman came up just that way herself. What a sorrow that is!

  • Anonymous says:

    Ridiculous..that's about the only word I can think of to describe this video. I've heard about this video, but hadn't seen it until this morning. It truly is sad..& the way she curses at her is just awful as well. I hear that the mother is being investigated…I don't know if it's true or not..but I sure hope so. The ignorant child/adult who tape the video needs to be 'investigated' as well. This world we live in..I swear..smdh.

  • Anonymous says:

    The mother was not only ripping her hair but is so filled with self hatred and trying to show off. She knows that she just need to add moisturizer and her daughter would be fine but she is just showing off her daughters texture, she kept combing the same section and all of it was comb out so what was she really doing..she did not put it in a ponytail or braid it…she diliberately was ripping her hair and taping it like it was a joke. The mother is acutally a true donkey and is obviously sick. TOO bad the dum ass is abusing her daughter. this is why we as black women get such a bad rap for ignorant jack @$$ like her. I SAY CALL THE AUTHORITIES CAUSE IF YOU CAN CURSE OUT YOUR CHILD AND RIP OUT HER HAIR THEN YOU NEED TO BE FINED AND CHILDLESS.

  • Anonymous says:

    This was absolutely ridiculous. I can't believe how angry I am right now. I have a daughter, and the thought that someone could, first of all, be that ignorant in regards to how to do a young person's hair, and second of all, to use that type of vulgar language is beyond me. I work for Superior Court of California at the Children's Court, and trust, know and believe, DCFS would be on this like white on rice, and also trust, know and believe that that child would be detained. The language is abusive. That is an emotionally demeaning situation there.

  • Anonymous says:

    That pissed me off decently.

  • curlyover40 says:

    Who uses a hair brush on natural hair anyway. The ultrasheen spraybottle probably only had water and no actual product in it. Aside from the fact that it seems like a child or teenager is taping this, the fact that the ADULT allowed it and cursed and snatched the child is a sad, sad statement.

  • KeetaRay says:

    I saw this video and actually posted it to my own blog. What a shame. It amazes me how uneducated we are when it comes to our own hair. So ready to put chemicals in it to "tame" it, rather than understand our hair and what it does and embrace it. This woman in the video is truly ignorant and I feel sad for the little girl 🙁

  • Anonymous says:

    Someone needs to get her address and send her a haircair package with instructions on how to take care of her daughters hair!

  • Laquita says:

    That is horrible! The so called 'mother' was causing more 'knots' in the child's hair the way she was brushing it! – WoW – talk about damaged self esteem – all that cursing at the child- it is awful.

  • chic noir says:

    My husband was on and on youtube.I was disgusted!! I sent the link to CNN, detroit, michigan child abuse agency, and I'm about to somehow send it to Nancy Grace. I'm about 3 days behind now but something must be done.

    Nancy Grace and company may not touch this video because it sparks off to many issues. there are some blk folks who would be very angry if Nancy stuck her neck out on this. I'm sure nancy grace would be called a racist, told she doesn't understand blk hair, and on a mission to vilify blk women.

  • Tope says:

    To be honest I watched it right to the end and when it was finished my jaw and my hand hurt from clenching them so tightly.

    I dont know about whether its right to report her or not or whether the child was playing up to the camera because of her siblings taunting, what i do know is that anyone who gets their hair brushed like that is at best gonna feel some pain and at worse is going to feel an extreme amount of pain, scalp sores, headaches and self hate.

    We all know if someone brushed our hair like that we would want to run that brush all up and through their hair and or weave, just so they could understand the pain we would be feeling.

    Now dont get me started on the bad language and!! yes children hear bad words, but when they hear it from their parents, its like saying "you can do it too", as a young child, children imitate their parents because that's their first role model the people they trust. This behaviour is unacceptable

    dont get me started on the jealous person filming, she's proberly suffering from hair envy.

  • Sharifas says:

    btw; my hair was and is 4A(at the back),4B(some areas in the mid section),4C(everywhere else)
    so it hurt me like HELL. poor kid. what is she REALLY doing with that kid?

  • Anonymous says:

    That's jus crazy. i think it's more that her siblings were makin fun of her cause that's when she REALLY got loud. But still, what was the point for combing that girl hair for that long? And laughing? If she in so much pain, just slick that hair back and put it in a ponytail already! No sense in watching her cry! This mess just broke my heart. Again. ;-[

  • Sharifas says:

    This right here….
    was me as a kid, i SWEAR TO GOD that was me. i was JUST like that, that was how my step-mother used to brush/comb my hair.
    its sad.

  • Moi says:

    What I don't get is how she or someone in the house obviously knows how to do the little boy's hair (He's rockin his natural hair, with a hair product that really shows off his cute curls) & yet she has to do THIS to the little girl?

    I also noticed "mommy"'s wearing a weave while her biracial daughter gets beaten up for having curls.

    This was on MediaTakeout & a bunch of people were saying how the little girl was bad & how if she would just stay still it would be all that serious. I completely disagree & I think this mom needs to leave the hairstyling to someone else. This little girl is going to beg for a perm when she gets older. And all that's going to do is mess up her lovely locs.. =/


  • Anonymous says:

    I, too am really surprised. I don't think it warrants contacting CPS or anything like that, but it is disturbing. I would hold off on reporting the lady and sending the video to CNN, b/c it really isn't your business to report….and it's not child abuse (stop overracting) I mean, are you going to raise the child when CPS takes them and this child goes to foster care or whatever b/c someone got too nosy? Nonetheless….I do agree that the child's hair isn't even nappy….her Mom (or whatever) is just ghetto….point blank.

  • luvleelox says:

    I watched the whole thing and she needs to be reported that was disturbing and heartwrenching…that little girl's hair is beautiful…I hope she makes it out of that environment and comes to know that.

  • Anonymous says:

    I was having a good day until I saw this video. I am not a violent peron, but this makes me want to go to her house and comb her weave out with as much force as possible and take the video camera and shove it down the throat of the person video taping this mess.

  • Alicia says:

    I am disgusted! That 'woman' should be ashamed of herself. Her daugter has a head full of thick, long, and beautiful hair and the mother is just ripping a brush/comb through it. Why doesn't she just cut it all off or relax it? I would never advocate for a relaxer, but this is an extreme case. If it would prevent the child from being abused, I think drastic measures (such as a short cut or a relaxer) must be taken. We all know the mother isn't going to seek natural hair care information for her children.

  • Queenofthe4s says:

    Please..I will say it! Someone needs to take that brush from her and drag it all up and through her damn weave tracks and see how she likes it!

    No seriously…we need to send her some natural hair "how-to" videos since they like to post videos of their own children being tortured so much…

    My son has some serious 4a hair and we have never had a session like this… even still it hurts my heart when he says it hurts a *little*…the nerve of some people!

  • Anonymous says:

    The mother is 'hair jealous.' The girl has a beautiful mane and the mother just couldn't take it!

  • Suniismom says:

    Another woman that should not have had a child!! Like many of you I could only watch a few seconds of this mess. Last night I did my daughter's hair (by the way she has extremely thick, bsl hair), made sure she had spongebob on and was comfortable. I took my time and treated every hair like it was silk. I want my daughter to have good self esteem and be happy with what she was blessed with. At the least this woman needs parenting classes.

  • SHADOW says:

    WOW, how fitting is the LP song at the 5 minute mark.

    "I cannot take this anymore…. One step closer to the edge, and I'm about to break!"

    LOL! Ok, I'm done.

  • SHADOW says:

    It burned me to watch this. I understand why some people say they could never go natural because of the trauma they went through with their natural hair as a child.

    The most saddest part about this is I can TELL this child has a beautiful head of curls and ringlets. She looks to be in the type 3 curl category, however you would never know by the way her hair and the curls are viciously being ripped and frizzed out.

    And let me not even get on the cussing…..

  • b. says:

    The only thing (almost) as bad as this video is the comments section about this video on Dimewars. This woman seems downright resentful of having to do the child's hair in the first place. At least she tried to dampen it with the spray bottle…but dang! The only time my hair was brushed was in sections after my hair was parted (and this is even with a perm). This is just sad…

    She (woman with the brush) needs two things: self-control and a hair lesson. I'll leave unwritten the longer list of what *else* she needs.

  • Unknown says:

    Oh, my goodness. She tortured that child for over five minutes and there was no reason for it. The person shooting the video… smh. I really don't even know what to say. This is one of the saddest things I have ever seen.

  • Anonymous says:

    Um…well that is definitely not the right way to comb a child's head, but I don't neccesarily think the child was getting as hurt as she was screaming to be, I just think the child didn't want to get her hair done…as for filming it like the child was a zoo animal or something, that's just disgusting…

  • clarahallow121 says:

    I'm so sorry, Nikki. Tried to beat your 40 seconds but only got to 45. Awful stuff. Completely awful. Even when I was younger my mom never did me like that. When we started to cry, she took a break and it was up to us whether or not she finished. That poor beautiful child. No wonder so many women are afraid of being natural if it brings back memories like that!

  • honeysmoke says:

    my goodness. we certainly don't need to help others reinforce stereotypes about us.

  • NappySince10/01/08 says:

    um yes. i've said my peace over at UrbanCurlz about this hot arse mess. i cant watch it again

  • Anonymous says:

    Ummmmmm…okay. dont even know where to begin. First of all, seriously?! Who combs their baby's hair like that? It looks sooo painful i couldn't even watch the whole crazy a$# video!! And i want to smack the person with the camera…how horrible!

  • Nicole says:

    Another board that I'm on actually found this lady's myspace page and found her address and reported her to DCS.

  • Unknown says:

    My husband was on and on youtube.I was disgusted!! I sent the link to CNN, detroit, michigan child abuse agency, and I'm about to somehow send it to Nancy Grace. I'm about 3 days behind now but something must be done. The mother(which she should be given that title) had a youtube account but her punk *ss closed it. The video is still floating on Youtube. If anyone lives in Detroit please call the authorities. Right now as I type this I'm sure she's abusing that child again, and again. 🙁 This brought seriously brought tears to my eyes, and anger in my heart. We have got to do something about this!!!

  • satin doll says:

    this woman needs to be reported to cps, how in the world can you curse and scream at your child and she did nothing wrong? she also had the nerve to drag her around the room when the poor child ran away from her. she did absolutely nothing to the child's hair except make it worse and hurt her poor head. that little girl is going to grow up hating her hair. if that woman can't take care of her hair, then she needs to take her to someone who can. i wanted to cry while watching it. there was nothing funny about that entire process. i would hate her too.

  • mzmillion says:

    The way she was cussing and screaming. I mean who told her that brushing the kids hair like that is the proper way to do it. And whoever the ASSHOLE that was laughing and saying "America's Funniest HOme Video" is a dumb ass for egging and encouraging that. The sad thing is, some people can't be told anything. I'd be better if she cut the little girls hair down so that it would be easier.

    Poor baby was crying saying "I hate you".

  • Namun says:

    OMG, that child will be traumatized. . .

  • Jonesy says:

    I don't see how the person that was recording thought that that was funny. It was NOT. That poor child. I would definitely classify that as abuse because she got all on the floor and everything. WHO brushes hair like that? I've never seen anything like that before. Utter disgrace.

  • Anonymous says:

    i just dont understand as a black woman how do u just sit there and brush ur childs hair like that this is horrible

  • Anonymous says:

    Wow…that 'woman' is disgusting. Aside from the hair abuse, she was verbally abusing that baby too! Who uses the 'F' word towards their kids like that? Who calls their kids names like that? An abusive, ignorant person. SHe wasn't doing anything with that brush but hurting that child. I didn't see anything detangled. What a disgusting excuse for a human being. My God. And the person behind the camera is just as if not more trifling. Ugh….

  • Alicia says:

    OMG, I can't believe what I just saw, that's horrible, the bible is really right when it says, that "people perish for the lack of knowledge". If she knew anything about natural hair or took the time to learn since she has 2 beautiful kids with natural hair, she would know how to care for it properly. That poor child will be traumatized for the rest of her life and hate her natural hair. This is where the self hate begins, and that person recording that shold be jailed as well as the mother.

  • Anonymous says:

    Um…DFACS anyone? Did I just hear the mother (or whoever she is) use the "F" word???? There is nothing "nappy" about that child's head. She only needs a good moisturizer and someone who isn't going to scalp her. This is disgusting.

  • InTransition_RN says:

    I actually watched the entire 5:45 minutes of the video… quite disturbing!!! I don't even know where to start… nor do I want to!!! Simply put, it is a clear display of self hatred that is being passed on from mother to child, who will end up hating herself and her beauty because of her mother's actions towards her hair. And further on in the video, there's another child where the recorder states "You're next," while laughing!!! The mother calls the screaming child a "nappy head," etc… and the child screams out.. "I hate you!!!" repeatedly. The mother doesn't even take the time to do any form of the hair routine gently… and anybody who went through the hair routine as a child knows that it is a very painful process… SMH!!! This is where the beginnings of self hatred starts… i.e. the love for the chemical process that eventually destroys our image!!! This is truly why we as a people grow up hating our beauty that is so envied by others!!!! SMH… such a shame!!!

  • Passion says:

    This is absolutely sick. The mother and the person video taping needs to be beat with that brush! What is wrong with these people…

  • aubin says:

    Ugh, sickening. No excuse, this is definitely child abuse. I didn't make it past 15 seconds. It also reminded me of a rare trip I made to a hair stylist a few weeks ago. I wanted flat twists as a protective style for my TWA over the summer. Although I asked the stylist to comb my hair with a wide tooth comb (I brought my own) she insisted on roughly picking out my fro with a brush. When I cringed at the pain from her pulling my hair, she chuckled about me being too 'sensitive' and 'tender-headed'. I should have walked right out of the salon right then but I didn't. Instead I ended up with flat twists that were way too tight and breakage of my hair that was previously the icon of hair health. The misunderstandings of natural hair out there are horrific as that video demonstrates. I bet that woman just thinks the kid is being 'too sensitive' and difficult. As a kid I was subject to these kinds of traumatic hair sessions as my mother and grandmother insisted on combing my hair with full force, although maybe not with the kind of violence shown in the video.

  • Unknown says:

    poor baby
    i hope she alrite and he mum or who ever it is combing her hair gets the rite advice on how to do it
    its real sad

  • Dania says:

    This video is popping up ALL over the place (including LHCF and other hair blog sites) and it is one of the most sickening videos I have seen. I don't think anyone has been able to watch the whole thing. There's just no excuse for what she is doing- it's straight up child abuse. And to think that someone was actually video taping it and laughing at the poor child… smdh.

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