See what guys are saying about naturally curly women:
More from Natural Hair Tuesdays
Whatcha think?
More from Natural Hair Tuesdays
Whatcha think?
© 2023 Curly Nikki.
I have been married only three years. When my husband and I got together, I was a press and curl girl. So, he was used to straight hair. When I stopped heat damaging my hair, the only issue he voiced was concern for the amount of time he felt it was taking for me to care for my curls while I was coming up the learning curve. Well, he has learned that my hair is one topic he does better to stay away from. You have to set your limits.
The typical reaction from every man attached to a woman who big chops is negative: me, my mom, my friend's mom, etc…had some crazy problems with my man for a week. Grr.
I'm in high school and I haven't come across any guy that says they don't like my hair. I've actually gotten more compliments with my hair natural the permed. They say they wanna play with and touch my hair lol
One guy said its okay for his daughter to have natural hair but not his woman. He is a walking contradiction.
The guys in that second video should all stick their heads in a vat of relaxer cream until it burns and not be allowed to rinse it off.
I just recently met a guy, who was IN LOVE with my naturaly curly hair,(although he constantly asked me if I had good hair, because mine didn't look like others he had seen,and I quickly told him no, this is just all natural.. he loved the fact that my hair smelled like flowers, and fruit. Instead of heat and relaxer..mind you this guy was married to a woman who was relaxed, but he wanted to to run his fingers through MY hair. I think with time men will adjust their thinking, just think back then men preferred women with afros over relaxed hair..just give them time…they'll come around!!
it's funny how the guy's views on natural hair changed concerning his daughter. it's okay for women he dates to conform to HIS ideal of (manufactured) beauty over their own self appreciation/natural beauty and perm/weave their hair for his pleasure. but when it comes to his daughter he wants her to love herself how God made her…? hm… that will never happen, cuz that child will see her mama and every other woman her father thinks is attractive with UNnatural hair and that will also become her standard of beauty. it will be difficult for her to see her own beauty in being natural if her father, the #1 man in her life, doesn't. that's so backwards.
Honestly, the men (using the term loosely) in the 2nd video aren't guys who any mature woman would want to date. Their immaturity, lack of coherent vocabulary and knowledge of the subject is extremely unattractive (Really dude, just be natural on Fridays?). This is how I generally view guys that have negative feelings about natural hair anyway-I think the appreciation and acceptance of natural hair comes with maturity.
I have really only had a couple of men ask me why I don't relax and my uncle has expressed his dislike on several occasions. Bottom line-I don't care what these particular people think. I love my brother, and a lot of times I do care what he thinks, and he doesn't really like it, but some natural styles he actually LOVES (his girlfriend is a weave queen!).
My boyfriend happens to be my biggest fan. He LOVES my hair. I get compliments from men and women everyday and when we are together, I can tell he loves that people admire my hair. As much as I love him, I would NOT have continued in the relationship if he had expressed any negative feelings toward my hair. I'm not changing it. It's longer, healthier and stronger than it's ever been.
This is so bad, but I dated a guy for a very short time who only complimented my hair when I had it straightened for trims. He was a jerk. (lol). Now he's married to a girl with horribly stringy, crakhead hair (Yes, I said crackhead). She is a constant weave wearer and has no hair on her sides. Every time I see them I just laugh because really dude, her hair is not the business and you know it. LOL
(I need prayer, I know).
I've been natural all my life and never had a problem dating, getting engaged, or getting married! lol. My husband loves my curls, and so have all my ex's. I've dated white, black, latino, indian, and some others in between and I've never heard a negative remark from them about my hair. The men in the 2nd video are ignorant and should be embarassed. I hope they watched themselves in the video and realized how stupid they look.
THANK YOU Sasha B!!!
I could care less what men think. It's my head and I will do with it as I please. You can have your input but you can't tell me what to do with it.
I am 21 and I have been out clubbing with natural hair and straightened hair and there is a difference. Some guys no matter what race find it intriguing and others find it "too close to Africa," whatever that means. Lol! I am not going to pretend I don't know what it means, and I hope you guys don't either I was just playing. Though if you present yourself in the way that you feel most comfortable people feel that. So wheter you wear it bushed out, fro'd out, curled, wavy, crimped or straight, wear it in a presentable way. If the style doesn't look good, thenn don't say sh** I'm natural so whatever…part that hair in another way and make it look presentable. I have had hands in my hair when it is straight, but when its a curled fingers fly. The guys in the second video unfortunately don't see the wealth in natural hair or the health in it, but that is a product of their environment and what they imprint as beautiful. Note: If the guys in that second video think that perm is the word, and natural hair is icky why are they rocking it themselves, hey fellas join the fad of guys who relax their hair and then get back to us.
The second video the guys are so backward especially the one that said he wouldn't want his daughter to be relaxed. I think that these boys don't understand that natural hair is diverse. They don't under the full meaning of being natural. I think if they where educated on it they was have a different opinion. They see it as the stereotypical way where your hair is notty and you don't comb it. They don't understand that natural hair can be well groomed and can look more curly, slicked back with waves, even straighten or etc. Since I've been natural men love my hair. It's all about how you present it and take care of it and when you are just becoming natural it take some time to understand your hair but once you got it….It's on!
I found myself laughing at the ignorance in that second video. LOL! I mean seriously, our hair should only be natural on Fridays? That first guy was HILARIOUS. The third one was a bit less obnoxious, but I don't think I'd want any of them to approach me to be honest, so my feelings aren't hurt. But then at the end the guy says he would want his daughter to embrace what was given to her by God? LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO.
I see it like this: I don't care if they like it. I don't care if they don't like it. Men have their preferences just like women do.
HOWEVER, my issue is the 'why'…WHY do they feel like natural hair "should be reserved for 'Casual Fridays'"? (That was pure idiocy, btw). WHY do they see short hair as a negative thing?
Moreover, the only thing that really made me roll my eyes were the responses to the question about natural hair being a movement. It seems to me that across the board (or at least all the men in BOTH videos), the deciding factor on whether or not it was a movement or fad had to do with the number of women they'd seen on campus or wherever they are.
According to the dictionary, a movement is "a positive change in attitudes or policy". A fad is "a short-lived enthusiasm for something, without basis in the object's qualities". Obviously, one has to do with ignorant impulse, while the other has to do with changing your mindset–so if anything, you'd have to leave a fad to be a part of a movement: not the other way around* They can't know what motivated each and every woman they see, to return to her natural state. So how can they distinguish between it being a fad or movement? And in any case, if they really knew anything about natural hair, they'd know that not very many women out there would go natural as a SHORT-LIVED fad, the road to being 100% natural is not a short one.
All in all, I think it's amazing the amount of controversy you get for keeping your hair the same texture as it grows out of your head.
lol…why was Enyce in the red shorts from video two so nervous? Ihave been natrual all 27 years of my existance, so I have gotten both sides of the spectrum…lol…whatever!
I showed part two to one of my friends, and told her this is how we'll weed out the tools (well I used another word that relates to Summer's Eve and a bag) – I was through with the one guy that said that natural hair should be reserved for casual Friday….are you kidding me?!?
Yeah and if you watch BOTH videos the second one has the views of men that don't like natural hair. But like most men that have a disdain for natural hair, their preference seems to be based on foolishness. "It's not something for everyday" "I would want my daughter to have natural hair, but I'm not dating my daughter" "I put grease in my hair, that's a chemical" Foolishness…
I can respect a man that just has a preference for straight hair (as in, natural hair is cool but I prefer straight hair). But when men try to justify their preference using faulty arguments it makes me queasy. Reminds me of how some white people used to use (and are arguably still using) our physical features to keep us oppressed by making us uncomfortable in our own skin (or hair). Makes me VERY uncomfortable because their "reasons" don't even really make sense. White people don't have to make us feel inferior anymore because we do it to each other every day. (And I felt this way even back when I was still relaxing my hair)
I could care less what men think about natural vs. relaxed hair. If it's on my head, then it doesn't really matter what you think. I sometimes think we give men too much of a say in these matters. If he likes the natural look, he'll approach you. If not, he won't give you a second look. You'll be fine in any case.
I find that most men think "natural hair" simply means no weaves. They don't realize "natural hair" means no weaves AND no chemicals to permanently alter your hair texture. Obviously these guys were well informed 🙂
People want to see the other side to get the whole picture. These websites wouldn't exist if there wasn't some disdain for natural hair. The truth is that many black men like long, straight hair. It's not their fault. It's society.
…so timely. After church, (Sunday), I was chatting with an older sister, who told me that she would like to have natural hair, but that her husband won't be pleased. They've been married 30 something years. She said that he'd even give her money to do her hair, if she needed it. I just thought to myself, that yes, on Independence day I can truly say that I am liberated and freem (from chemicals and stereotypes)!
maybe im just antisocial or something, but i really dont give a **** what guys think about my hair. they dont get to choose and women aren't just for their viewing pleasure. and the best guys are probably the ones who are open minded and who prefer it, so having natural hair is kind of like an automatic screening process. =] but i dont think its that serious for guys either way
Ladies, head over to www.youtube.com/user/naturalhairtuesdays and view part 2 of Men and natural hair!
–Jameka
so weird. almost every man i meet LOVES my natural hair. from what i've seen, women THINK men will hate it, but every man i meet wants to touch it and feel it and put their hands in it. but, like someone said before, i felt like i had straight hair for everyone else, but i have natural hair for ME.
Ugh… Please, no more topics about men. I hate how some natural haired women act when it comes to men who do or don't like their hair. Just ugh… I'd probably go back to a relaxer just so I don't have to be associated with those types lol
From the guys I know they prefer long hair and straight hair. They like the hair that they can put their hands through. They would prefer if you didn't have weave. But they would take a nice weave before natural hair. ANd if you are natural they like that certain texture that is looser and longer. This is coming from family members and people outside the family. My ex likes me for me ( he's not black) but somehow he things my hair will be curlier(looser) once it gets longer
I don't see why several of you are interested in hearing negative comments. It doesn't make sense.
I think that I get more stares and glances with my hair natural. I cut all of my hair off in February because #1 I wanted a change, #2 I didn't really believe in relaxed hair anymore because I felt it damages your hair #3 I felt I owed it to myself to be a healthier individual. I don't really think men care at the end of the day as long as your natural hair looks well kept and styled. That is just my opinion. I am in the Caribbean for school and in the past 2 or 3 months I have traveled into Atlanta and NY state. I think I get more attention now with my hair short and naturally curly 🙂 Oh right and I didn't care what the guy I was dating at the time thought about my new change even though he distinctly said before I actually made the big chop that he preferred straight, long and relaxed hair…Obviously you have to have self confidence to rock the look all together
Not sure if some Ladies realize this but the creators of this video had both sides…men who like natural and men who do not.
I went natural because I was tired of the damage that relaxers were doing to my hair. Not too concerned what men think about me. I like it and that's all that matters. If those men like it, they will approach me. If those men don't then they will not. I only focus on the positive, not the negative.
Oh so I guess you guys didn't click the red box at 0:26? LOL
I watched both videos and I mean really, why would anyone want to date the two really uninformed guys from part 2 (the 3rd just seemed to have a preference) over any of the ones in part 1? This is why I'm not studying what any random person thinks of my hair. Apparently if you just do you, you'll attract someone worthy while weeding out those who aren't.
I suppose the two videos are good for anyone who's quite insulated and surrounded by only people from one of these mindsets. They're proof that the other side exists. Almost every man was represented: men who are against chemicals & weaves, men who take women as individuals, men with a preference for curls, men with a preference for wraps, men who are against natural curls.
The naturals in my community and myself have talked about this several times and in my opinion the more mature men seem to like natural better. Im 26 and not all men my age like it, they have to be mature enough not to care what others think, but it would have been nice to see the negative side as well. Thanks Nikki for always adding spice
What I find is that men that are in their 20s to mid 30s dont have a problem with women and their natural hair.
Most of the black men I know (35 and older) prefer women who have permed hair.
I was told by several black men that I lost all my sex appeal when I cut off all my hair.
It was very sad to hear that. Who figure.
Thanks Nikki for your post.
It was OK. I mean, it's nice to see the positive, but I would have preferred to have a balance with men that don't like natural hair and why. Just my .02 cents.