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Curly Nikki

You Will Never Measure Up

By January 27th, 202118 Comments

You Will Never Measure Up

by Noni of ThreeNaturals

Does that sound mean? You will never measure up? I think it sounds true.

You will never measure up. You will never have her hair or her style, her self-assurance or her success. Never. You won’t because it’s hers. You will never measure up. But really, you don’t need to you because you will have your hair, your style, your self-confidence and your success. And that’s something to be thankful for and confident in should you choose to see with the right perspective.

*cue storytime music*

There once was a girl who was given the gift of being made unique. There was noone else on the whole planet like her. She was funny, smart, creative, and beautiful. She was also blessed with gorgeous kinky hair that defied gravity. This little lady was a true gem.

One day she met a sweet, friendly girl and was fascinated by her charm and her lovely silky hair that danced in the blowing wind. After their meeting she thought, “Oh my, that girl is funny, smart, creative and beautiful. I wish I could be like her.” That night it was hard for her to sleep as she kept thinking about all the things that she was not and all the things that this other girl was. The next morning she got up and felt pretty rough due to lack of sleep but she kept it moving anyhow and went on about her day. As the day went on, once again, she ran into the same girl with the dancing hair. But she noticed that something had been altered. The hair wasn’t dancing but was trying to float. She asked,”did you do something different?” The other girl replied, “Why yes I did. Yesterday when I meet you I thought to myself, ‘Oh my, that girl is funny, smart, creative and beautiful. I wish I could be like her.’”

Where am I going with this?

We’ve all been given the gift of being made unique. It’s interesting though, the misconceptions that we often have about ourselves and then operate from. Just yesterday in conversation I was asked why I don’t wear wash n go’s. I dove into this whole monologue (along with hair pics on my ipod) about twist outs and curl patterns and ‘what I didn’t have’ and ‘why I couldn’t do’. The response I got surprised me as I was told, ‘but look at your pics, you do have that kinda hair’.
I was like…’I do?’

And I realized that while I’ve been busy watching the other girl’s hair I’ve neglected to see my own. Cause really, what’s ‘that kinda hair’ anyway? It’s beautiful, kinky, curly.

Call a spade a spade. See you for what you truly are.
And sing in unison the words of India Arie “I know my Creator didn’t make no mistakes on me”


  • Anonymous says:

    Hmmm, been thinking a lot about these and other issues over these past few days. Yes, we're all encouraged to love our hair the way it is…but I just can't shake the feeling that we only get reallly excited about particular "types" of hair i.e. 4a and under! I don't know too many naturals with 4b/4c hair who are idolised! And there seems to be an obssession about defining "curls"…and a lot of 4b/4c naturals spend inordinate amounts of money and time tryna get the barely existent curls "popping". So yes, I may love my kinky texture (which I do) but if we're being really real no one else seems to think kinky measures up to curly!

  • Anonymous says:

    Excellent!! Just what was needed to be said and right on time!!

  • Erica S says:

    This has been one of my biggest issues with my healthy hair journey. Trying not to compare my hair to women in see in forums and various websites. And even more so trying not to mimic everything they do with their hair thinking if I do that, I'll have exactly their hair. Not gonna happen. lol Like you said "I'll never measure up." I think the biggest thing I had to learn before I can even accomplish my hair goals is to love MY hair first. And the rest will follow.

  • Anonymous says:

    I have to give myself this pep talk from time to time to keep myself grounded. I don't envy other women's hair or bodies, but I do envy successful women. I often feel like I achieved as much as some women my age have at my current stage in life, so I can get down on myself about that. But, I try to keep it all in perspective and focus on what I have to offer to the world, instead of comparing myself to other folks! Sometimes…I have to remember that I am more fortunate and blessed than I realize.


  • Anonymous says:

    Giving you love jones snaps for this one! Great post! BP

  • luvnM3naturally says:

    Inspirational! For all the things that I was teased about…not being light enough, tight eyes, braces & thick hair! To all the things I love about me….dark chocolate skin, slanted eyes, straight teeth, kinky hair and all! 🙂

  • Anonymous says:

    Wow…It's like this blog has a way of saying just what I need to hear when I'm not at my best, but it manages to build me up at the same time. That is very powerful and for that, I am so grateful. Seriously, I was just admiring someone and thinking how cool and wonderful this other person was, all the while, totally discounting myself and my own gifts. I really need to stop that.

  • Anonymous says:


  • Nikki Aimee says:

    Thank you.

  • Ciera says:

    You just confirmed some of my nagging thoughts lately. Thanks so much for this post it has really made me realize the true beauty within my own individuality!!!

  • Anonymous says:

    Wow, that was beautiful! I am immediately forwarding that to my sister who can defintely use the encouragement!

  • Anonymous says:

    This made my day. Thank you:)

  • Jessica says:

    I appreciate this post. I always admire other peoples hair, but I'm so critical of myself. When I take the time to really think about it, a lot of girls want my hair texture or length. I know easier said than done, but I should be happy with what I have. Thanks again for the post.

  • jjleb85 says:

    Wow really love this post. Thanks so much for sharing!

  • Anonymous says:

    LOVING this post.

  • Kudos says:

    Ummmm…I LOVE this post.

  • Anonymous says:

    WOW!!!! I so needed to hear that. Thanks for putting me on blast!!!!

  • CurlyInTheA says:

    GREAT post! I think we all are prob guilty, at times, of having curl "envy." No, that girl on YT's hair won't look like mine, and neither will my hair look like hers. We have to be happy with what we've got.

    It's so, so easy, to forget what we have, as we product chase, strive for length, jump bandwagons and stalk hair sites like for girls with curls, thickness and density like ours.

    Thanks for reminding me to be grateful for me.

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