by Taneica of Shatterproofglassdolls
We’ve all been there; you give your heart to someone, you envision it lasting forever (the white picket fence, dog, two kids – one of each), and you can’t imagine your life without said person. Then, WAHPOW! The relationship has ended, and you’re left standing there with your bleeding heart in your hand, alone. This post isn’t going to be about how to get you back to your pre-relationship glory. You’ll have to read the book for that. This post is a reminder of how fabulous you are in all of your single lady glory! There is something to be said about a woman who is happy regardless of what her relationship status is. Now obviously, stepping out of a relationship isn’t like stepping out of a pair pants, and hurts much, much, more, but it’s totally possible to return to the single realm of life without being miserable and lonely. With this post, I hope to help put things into perspective for you and help you remember all of the things that are fantastic about being single.
FREEDOOOOOOOOOOM! Sorry. I watched Braveheart this past weekend and that was my favorite part of the movie. But in all seriousness, there is a freedom that comes with being minus one that not even plus one divas can fathom, much less appreciate. There’s something so freeing about not having to confer with anyone about ANYTHING. You can buy whatever home you want, paint it whatever color you choose, and decorate it with as much frilly girly or tacky wacky stuff as you want! You can wear whatever you want without worrying about making your significant other uncomfortable and you can stay out as long as you wish without worrying about being inconsiderate! Mind you these are minor things in the grand scheme, but even on a larger scale, your possibilities have way fewer limits on them than they would if you were coupled up….no matter how “cool” your partner may be. Let’s be real, you have to be more considerate in a relationship or it probably won’t be pleasant, EVER. You also have to admit that there are some things that you can do as a single doll that will get a taken doll a side eye and a cold shoulder. Newly single doll, don’t take that freedom for granted. Though it’s awesome being in a relationship, it’s only worth your time if the person you’re with loves you as much as (and sometimes more) than you love yourself. Enjoy your freedom, revel in it, and take pictures for us married, engaged, and “long haul coupled up” folks. We live vicariously through you guys sometimes!
You have a blank slate. Here’s the realness about your relationship: the chick or dude that you were with was not perfect. Heck, neither were you. When you decided to love this person and enter a serious relationship with them, not only did you take on his gorgeous smile and cute butt, you also took on his annoying habit of singing along (poorly) to otherwise good songs on the radio in the car o_O. Ok, so that’s mild, but you catch my drift, right? Now that you’ve been set free, try to look on the brighter side of things. There’s a reason why the relationship crumbled to the point where it was no longer worth being in anyway! Take this opportunity to learn how to recognize your upgrade when he or she comes along! The things that bothered you about your last partner won’t be an issue any longer. Find someone who is an improvement upon what you had to deal with before. Mind you, this person will come with their own pot of annoyances, but at least you can expect to find a better fit for yourself.
I’d like to introduce you to……yourself. The ugly truth about it is, it’s quite simple to lose yourself, literally, when you fall in love with someone. It starts with something as simple as getting rid of a favorite sweater that the other person may not have liked, and can end with you not finding the same shows or music as cool as you used to because your significant other didn’t like either. Let me just tell you that that’s not cool. And I want you to think really hard about who YOU are as a woman. Make a mental note of what makes you fabulous, sexy, proud and invaluable. This is the woman that you are going to take into your next relationship. If there are some things that you wish you were but didn’t have the confidence to be when you were with your ex, NOW IS YOUR CHANCE TO BE THAT AND MORE. Take it! This is your shot to be the woman who you’ve always wanted to be, emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, and physically. Think of yourself as a very lucrative investment. Put in all of the time and effort that it takes to make you very marketable (educate yourself, exercise, build your credit, etc) and then make sure that you don’t share your profits (your heart, your time, and your body) until you are sure that the interested party has what it takes to add to your profits emotionally and otherwise.
Last but not least, I want to remind you that you are NOT broken and that you are more than the relationship that you just left. In fact, I am excited for you! You finally get to discover what me and tons of other people already knew: you are fabulous, you’re strong, you’re beautiful and you’re worth loving.
A little pick me up, girl power music:
All the single ladies… what do you most enjoy about the single life?