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Curly Nikki

If We Were Friends…

By January 27th, 202139 Comments

Let me set up the scenario. You’re sitting on a bus or waiting in your doctor’s office when you see a young woman, visibly upset, sitting by herself in a far corner. She looks shaken, tired. She may even look as though she’s been crying. Your initial reaction may be to walk over and whisper a kind word, lean in and give her a warm hug or just offer a bit of advice. But you stop yourself for various and sometimes obvious reasons. We all have boundaries and in an effort to respect others, sometimes we keep to ourselves and fight an inward struggle. We may even attempt to come up with alternatives to let the other person know that they’re not alone.

Welp, I know I have been in the above situation. Having a bleeding heart like mine makes it difficult for me to just look the other way, so sometimes I find myself offering a Kleenex and an understanding smile. I never ask and I seldom even utter a word. I just hope that my actions are enough. With that said, I felt inspired to write an open letter to all my dolls who may be going through some emotional turbulence right now. I typically don’t title within posts, but I figured this letter could use one.

If We Were Friends

If we were friends, I would tell you that your tears aren’t tears of defeat, but they’re tears of resolve and are cleansing your soul so that you can start again with a clean slate. I’d tell you that no matter what your situation is, it’s worth fighting through, because YOU are worth fighting for. I would remind you that though your heart feels like it’s breaking, in actuality, it’s growing and taking in new experiences. The ache that you feel is your soul and spirit growing to a larger capacity. Stretching can be very uncomfortable, especially if you haven’t done it in a very long time. Whether you’ve just ended a relationship, lost a loved one or failed miserably at something that you tried very hard to accomplish, you will be okay. There’s a reason why though you feel so crappy, you’re still breathing! The biggest reason is because you can get through this. There are people to talk to and pray with, there are things that you can do and there are still lessons for you to learn. Allow yourself to grieve, allow yourself to cry, but also allow yourself to forgive and heal. This is a page, a chapter at most in your book of life experiences. Take this opportunity to mold the remaining chapters however you choose. There’s more good and a little more bad ahead, but you’re a tough cookie. You can make it! You are loved and you are NEVER alone. In closing I want to remind you that you are, always have been and always will be, a Shatterproof Glass Doll. If you don’t know what this means, hopefully the definition will make you smile a little. A Shatterproof Glass Doll is a fragile woman who can never be broken beyond repair. That’s you honey. Arm yourself with these heartfelt words of love, empowerment and positivity and keep your head up.


  • DecemberPumpkin says:

    such true words so hard to comfort someone you don't even know

  • Anonymous says:

    I REALLY NEEDED that today!! Thank you.

  • Anonymous says:

    I needed that today. Thank you so much, thank God

  • Anonymous says:

    Beautifully written and extremely sincere. Thank you.

  • Anonymous says:

    This one of the most beautiful soul-touching combination of words I have read, and even though it is addressed to the public, I felt as though it was personally addressed to me-perfect timing friend! I hope I too can touch many others in a similar manner.

  • Anonymous says:

    This is beautiful and so is the spirit in which you wrote it. Be blessed and continue to bless others.

  • Anonymous says:

    Awww, this was a very powerful and beautiful letter! I will be copy pasting this to my phone. Thank you so much for this. And thank you to all the kind women who shared yourself and knowledge with strangers. God puts people in the right place at the right times for a reason. You never know, just smiling at someone could save their life. One thing that keeps me going when things are weary is the saying: This too shall pass. And guess what it always does! Have a blessed day everyone!

  • Teresa R. says:

    You never cease to make my day:)!!!
    ….and uh, CUTE shoes (as usual)
    Can we be "friends"? *wink wink*;)

  • Anonymous says:

    I had the same thing happen to me once at the airport. I was waiting to board my flight and I sat down across from a young lady who was crying, our eyes met and I could tell something was really wrong so I just leaned in and told her that no matter what it is or what it feels like right now it's all going to be okay. After I said that she broke down and started the "ugly" cry so I sat next to her and gave her what I call the "grandmama's baby it's gonna be alright" hug and just kept telling her it's okay to feel whatever it is you feel right now no will judge you. So when she was done she said thank you and then proceeded to tell me her story which turned out to be something that I myself had gone through in my past, so I shared my story with her and told her in the end I felt my tears were symbolic of me letting go of the false sense of control I had over my life and that it was all worth it because it showed me how much stronger and more resilient I really am and that moment was her opportunity to do the same thing. I knew exactly what she was going through and before long we were gigling like old girlfriends and brainstorming ideas for her to turn her situation around. Before we went our seperate ways I just wished her all of the best, passed her my card and thanked her for being a blessing in my life and allowing me to share a life experience from my past with her. We hugged it out and parted ways. I am not someone that will get into anyone's business but that day my spirit led me to a place of transparency and vulnerability and in the end I gave someone something very powerful. As women we take on so much that we get hard to society and forget that we need to hear eachother's stories and be transparent allowing others to see us for who we really are…just women trying to make it.

  • Kudos says:

    Sheesh, you almost made me tear up!

    … And I 2nd T Monique's, "If we were friends you'd let me borrow those shoes"

    -Shatterproof Glass Doll indeed. THANKS

  • monniej says:

    super wise and well needed! i think you'd make an excellent friend, miss taneica! 🙂

  • Ms. Overproof says:

    Thank you for my weekly injection of 'hutzpah'. You are already a friend in my head! I so look forward to Thursdays!

  • Anonymous says:

    Thanks soo much…

  • QueenDBW says:

    Beautiful!! That is the only word that I can think of to describe your approach to life. I too am very empathetic and it pains me to witness another's pain. We need more beautiful souls such as yourself out there in the world.

  • Anonymous says:

    You are so sweet and empowering. I love reading your blog posts.

    Sending you a virtual hug!

  • Anonymous says:

    Thank You, between to nights Bible study and this precious note I have been touched by words of angels tonight! Thank You Pam

  • Denea says:

    This is so eloquently put and even though I'm doing semi ok right now in my life I needed to read this. I have definitely been at a point where I felt like my life was out of control and there was nothing I could do to stop it. These words are comforting and I've already saved this page in my favorites for the tough days to come. Thank you for this post!

  • Anonymous says:

    I needed this so much. -thanks

  • Belizean Jewel says:

    You have a beautiful heart, smile, closet & shoe collection! You are blessed…Girl be

  • luvlytay says:

    that couldnt have came at a more perfect time…thank u.

  • Anonymous says:

    You are so awesome! Beautiful words from a beautiful soul!


  • Anonymous says:

    This is so kind!

  • Anonymous says:

    I think I need to read this every day until I get over my breakup. Thank you! ~N.

  • Nneka says:

    How sweet and touching of you to share such loving words. May God continue to bless you beyond your wildest imaginations!

  • T Monique says:

    I too often find myself in similiar situations. Complete strangers have poured their hearts out to me. Im compassionate and I think it shows. Everyone appreciates someone that will care and will listen even if they cant solve their problem. Ive been told I should go into social work.

  • T Monique says:

    If we were friends you'd let me borrow those shoes

  • Exotikink says:

    And they say we hate each other, lol. We don't. All differing opinions aside, we come together at the right time, in the right way. Thanks for this letter. I wish the best for you and anyone reading, commenting or commiserating. May your paths be lighted and your steps buffered by grace, Sisters! May your hurts catapult you to a greater appreciation of joy and may you always know that in His eyes, you are beautiful and deserving of only good things.

  • Hairscapades says:

    Taneica, you are so awesome. That is all.


  • Rhonda C says:


    Your words were poignant and timely! Thank you very much for putting yourself out there and offering up words of encouragement that each of us can recall when life becomes a bit heavy.

    The world would be a much better place if there were more friends like you!

  • Syrinxsing says:

    Thanks for this! I've shared it (with credit given to the author, of course!)!

  • Michelle says:

    I'm a sympathetic cryer, so I often feel other people's pain. Also, if a stranger is upset and they see me there beside them, they tend to want to talk it out with me. I think I just have that kind of face :-).

  • Anonymous says:

    Same thing here….I was at the airport and sat down across from a young lady who just broke down into major tears. All I could do was lean over to her and say "no matter what it is or what it feels like right at this moment you will come out on the other side". Lord why did I say that…she opened up the flood gate and started bawling uncontrollably. At that point I sat next to her and gave her what I call a grandmama "baby it's gonna be alright" hug. Then when she was done she shared her story which was sad but it was also something I had experienced myself so I shared my experience which then made me cry but by the end she felt better and we were giggling like long time girlfriends and she was focusing on a plan to renew herself. So you really just have to do what your spirit guides you to do. My spirit led me to a place where my past life lesson was something that someone else needed to hear and I am definitley not someone that gets into anyone's business if I don't know you but in this situation I just felt like it was a moment to comfort someone else.

  • Anonymous says:

    Like Taneica,
    Like Taneica,I have a bleeding heart as well! I swear I'm always trying to help someone in one way other the other! NOT A BAD THING…but I have been told I spread myself pretty thin sometimes!
    However, I like to lend a helping hand when I can. Just 2 weeks ago this cute little old lady came in for an appointment. I ended up assisting here with getting her paper together, held her had down the hall to her destination, and spoke to the people at the desk to make sure she got registered! The women said GOD Bless You! My Father is a good God!:) That was enough for me!:)

    Thank you Taneica, your letter was BEAUTIFUL!

  • Purple Lady says:


  • TMS says:

    Beautiful! And, I second Q "those shoes are gorgeous." Deets, please.

  • The Mothership says:

    This happened when I was on the PATH TRAIN. A woman just started crying, I mouthed "Do you need a hug?" she nodded yes. I got off on the next stop (her stop) and hugged it out with her. Just holding her and smiling. Sometimes people just need a hug. Sometimes they don't need you to understand, just to be there 🙂

  • Q says:

    Great read, but sidenote Those shoes are GORGEOUS!

  • Migdalia says:

    Honey, if we all had friends like you this would be a wonderful world. Thankyou

  • Monique says:

    thanks =)

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