by Noni of Three Naturals

It’s funny. Sometimes a natural girl just wants a little acknowledgement. Some positive reinforcement on the whole counter-culture natural hair thing. “Hey girl, that looks cute”, or “I’m gonna try that style when I get home”

Always when we’re riding high… one innocent comment comes along.

Was talking with a co-worker the other day and he says: “Hey that’s pretty cool, I’ve never seen anything like that . How’d you get your hair like that? It looks kinda like a toque.

Errrr….. *scrape needle offff the record*

A toque? A thick wool hat worn in winter on the bitterest coldest days? Whaaaat???

I promise you it took everything within me not to immediately pull out the hanging flat twist I’d styled at the front of my head. But as soon as he left the room I did. Found a bobby pin and worked some hair magic. Cause, somehow, my self-esteem just got shook. It was crazy, I found myself trying to explain to this clueless guy the history of black hair, shrinkage, blogging and protective styling in 30 seconds. I’m not mad at him. I was able to laugh. But, I realize that there are some things in life that you gotta make sure that you always have under guard… your heart, your beliefs, your self-esteem….

A toque?

Can you relate?

CN Says:

I would’ve been all, ‘shut your mouth when you’re talkin’ to me’!

But honestly–I still get off the wall comments like that and although they ‘shake’ me less, sometimes, they have the ability to stop me in my tracks. It’s easy to say that we should ‘take less stock in family/friend/stranger’s opinions’, but much more difficult to put into practice. I regularly work with clients on this very thing, but still struggle with it myself.