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We finally get the style right. Turn the phone around for a picture. And there is the part, starring in its own Netflix documentary, pointing and asking which camera. This one?

You’re slowly unfurling your flexi-rods just like YouTube University taught you. Slowly, slowly, merrily, merrily, and the curls are looking good. They’re shiny, they’re soft, not crunchy, they’re uniform… except for two of them for some reason.

The bun took thirty seconds. But removing the hair tie requires prayer, patience, a second mirror, and maybe a second set of hands. It also requires courage. The courage to look at all of your hair still wrapped around it… no longer attached to your head.

We signed up for silver. So why is the front looking like somebody highlighted it with chamomile tea? Or with some Cassia- henna's blonde cousin.

Apply the mask. Find the plastic cap. Locate the dryer. Move the chair. Untangle the cord. Find your computer so you can work while you do it. Never mind. Rinse it out and keep it moving. This is me. So many times. Sometimes I almost even worked out on the treadmill, or dusted off the Peloton; I didn't, but I…