Name a few things you did to help build your confidence… to find your swag in order to feel comfortable with and embrace your natural curls.
CN Responds:
1. Educated myself on care methods and styling options. I became the expert at looking after my curls. It’s the lack of skill and knowledge that will send you running back to that flat iron or relaxer.
2. Practiced Positive self talk and did my best to push the negative, self-defeating, and destructive thoughts from my mind.
3. Took less stock in other people’s opinions. That meant the compliments and the snide remarks. It was my thoughts and feelings that counted.
4. Found a support network of amazing women at NaturallyCurly.com and later built one here at CurlyNikki.com. It helps knowing that you’re not the only one going through.
What about you?!
For me Hair is an accessory and being natural has helped me to embrace being different standing out.embracing that God has declared that we are beautifully and wonderfully made and of researching and trial and error
People will have negative comments, whether your hair is long, short, bald, nappy, straight, etc… People will always have something to say; especially when they're not happy with themselves.
This is my second go around with natural hair. I agree with a lot of the comments above- lack of knowledge, confidence and frustration led me back to relaxers. My last relaxer was almost a year ago. I'm so inspired to hear stories, blogs and see youtube videos about people's natural hair journey. For the first time, I'm learning about my hair type, texture and the different natural hair styles. I have to say staying natural is one of the best decisions I've made for ME. Love it! I'll be honest, I get frustrated at times but I think it's all part of the journey of embracing all of me, the way God created me, and I encourage other black women to come along on this journey.
You definitely need to have confidence to rock natural hair. I have found that your hair won't make or break you. It's the whole package. For instance, I pay extra attention to my accessories, makeup, and clothing choices to help build my confidence even though I am still learning about my hair. I have been adding color with shirts and coats, so I am taking my natural hair journey and learning about other parts of me. I have been playing around with hair jewelry which I would have never thought of when I had perm hair. I now look at permed hair and weaves and think how boring.
Knowledge is the key and of course loving yourself. It does not matter what anyone thinks of your choice of becoming natural has long as you are happy with you. This would be my third time going natural and my second BC and I am loving it because I am in a different place in my life and I am enjoying life. I am loving~me~naturally :~)
I educated myself on natural hair; mine in particular. I never gave in thus I never gave up. I know some times I walked around like "what the hell", but that did not stop me from trying to master my locs. Also shrinkage doesn't bother me that much. My philosophy is "It Is What It Is". I hold my head high and strut.
i totally agree with having tons of self confidence when it comes to natural hair…i know i get looks and stares but sadly the only ones who make it their own personal business is other black women..i get the most hate from them. its sad that we cant get the most support from our own people..expect on here of course…
"Took less stock in other people's opinions"
This is key. Not that I've gotten many negative remarks. But good or bad I've never done my hair for other people. No need to start now.
I developed selective hearing. I only hear the compliments and not the critiques…
@ Anonymous October 31, 2010 5:45 PM
My hair is the very same way and it is rather frustrating. There is no product that will stretch your hair out to show the length in its natural state. The only way you can do this is to strech your hair by blow drying it partially or banding it and allowing it to dry before styling.
I have type 4 hair that strinks up to my ears and looks like a TWA in it's natural state and I am 2 years in. Blown out, it's getting
close to APL.
queenofthe4s.blogspot.com
I have to agree with all your points here. I found that I had to be confident in myself and dismiss ignorant comments from family members….like "people that wear their hair like that are just lazy." I had to educate them that sometimes (most times) natural hair takes more work that relaxed hair. It is something more here….
I definitely had to educate myself also to make sure it was the right decision for me, and see what the process could be like. After that it was taking it step by step with different styles (and a few weeks of hiding it under the beanie lOl) to see what worked for me. And of course a support group. Even encouraged others to go all natural 😉
I have been natural about a year to a year and a half. I am having trouble, I have been trying different products and love them all with a few exceptions. However I have been unable to find anything that will stretch the hair all I end up with a mini afro???? Any suggestions, my hair is growing I have had it straigtened from time to time to make sure I am not crazy but when I go back to the curls its shrinking….I don't know what else to do!
HEY CN and Natural Sistas,
I have been natural now for about five years and I have big chopped soooooooo many times for different reasons. Never had the desire to go back to a perm. Had dreads and all. My swag and confidence comes from just knowing that I am free from chemicals and can do whatever I want with my hair and still feel GREAT! CN, you have truly been a blessing to me as far as keeping me up with the latest, because I LOVE to read and research whatever I do!
onelove,
jp
Actually, it was my natural hair (after I did the big chop) that gave me my natural hair swag. I had no idea it would turn out that way. It's probably due to the fact that I finally saw how beautiful I really am. I honestly didn't get that before. I noticed that I held my head up while walking. I took a little more pride in the way I dressed, which I think goes hand in hand with having fun with my accessories.
Whenever I need a little boost, I hit youtube and watch the sesame street remix of "I whip my hair"
I love this post! You covered all the bases. I know I stepped my glam factor up a notch and that I can say I was inspired by the ladies here on CN
Time played an important role for me. Over time I have learned what to expect from my hair, and I am accustomed to how people react (or don't react) to my hair.
I definitely educated myself on natural hair and my own hair, I then le tthe positive energy from the inside of me about my hair show on the outside. Confidence is definitely key and forcing myself to walk with my head high, shoulders back and a little strut in my step I began to really embrace my natural hair swag. It's definitely easier said than done IMO but once you start you just can't stop! 🙂
*standing*
I watched Kimmaytube and that is when i was inspired to go natural! I also read a lot of blogs and my first style as a transtiner was Kimmaytubes Twist Rollerset and it worked sooooo well, that it gave me the confidence to do braid outs and the likes!
I guess its trial and error also and seeing what works. I take it step by step and apply what i know! I love going against the grain and stabdinbg out so that gives me confidence also!
I think you covered all of the bases in this one. The main thing is knowledge, I know a lot of women who went natural, relaxed, and back again because of lack of knowledge on how to love their texture and how to care for it. I like to think of my natural hair as me returning to a more beautifully simplistic organic me. I came out with my curly fro, so I might as well go out with it. SN: Is it me or does it seem like more and more people that are natural are in a/interested in social science or the arts like psychology, sociology, art history, or neo-soul music??? I wonder is there is a correlation between being the organic you (having natural hair), career choice, or undergrad/grad major? Could be an interesting Masters thesis topic….
I think it begins with knowing who you are. Just learn to be you and the confidence will follow.
A natural sister from London x
1 and only point.I had to realize that this is the unaltered me, don't get caught up in the natural box. Your just being you.
Totally agreeing with your points. I'd add some brackets:
1. Educated myself (and others) on hair care methods and styling options with professional guidance. Despite a bad industry reputation for overbooking, licensed professional stylists with natural hair experience will help you along your journey.
2. Practiced positive self talk (and encouraged inclusiveness). Natural hair – my main interest being locs – shouldn't be a style that shuts others out regardless of race, gender, hair type, length, etc.
3. Took less stock in other people's opinions (and fostered self-esteem and self-confidence). Some would say, too much! CN, I may need to see you on the couch about that 😆
4. Found a support network of amazing women online (and in the "real world" offline). Hair care meetups are great but even one-on-one opportunities to share experiences are helpful sometimes.