Wanted: Sous Chef

Hola Chicas,

Okay, so I really, REALLY like black beans and with the amounts I’ve been consuming lately, I’m fearful that I will either turn into one or explode from the vapors.

This bean love is about as strange as my obsession for that History Channel show, Ancient Aliens. Put a pin in that… cause I’ve got opinions. Up until a year ago, I refused to consume any bean… or anything that remotely resembled one. Not the veggie girl, I opt for fried stuff with cheese… cakes, cookies and pies and things of that nature. But after one too many visits to Qdoba, I began craving black beans and their uncanny ability to beef up whatever you’re eating. Kinda like tofu, only not gross.

About a month ago I went to a university potluck with hubby and one of the many delicious dishes was this black bean salad. I must admit, at the time, my brand new ass thought it was a stand alone dish… a bean dish, not the dip to be eaten with chips, that it was. So there I sat, eating it straight up with a fork… even went back for seconds. It was so good that I unashamedly made a to-go plate and took home every. last. bean. Later that night, I emailed the hostess, thanked her for a good time and asked for the recipe. That’s when I learned that it was in fact a salsa.

My modified version of Rachel Ray’s recipe—

• 1 (15-ounce) can black beans, drained and rinsed (I like Goya cause they’re firm)
• 1 large tomato
• 1/4 red onion, finely chopped
• 1 jalapeno pepper, seeded and finely chopped
• 2 cloves of garlic, finely chopped
• 1 lime, juiced (I often cheat and use that little lime squeegee thing)
• Chopped cilantro leaves, optional

I eat it straight or with tortilla chips. I also like it with salmon!

Directions

I’ve kept a fresh batch of this bean magic on deck ever since that fateful picnic. But it’s hard work. Even though Rachel Ray describes it as ‘easy’ requiring only ’10 minutes of prep’, I find myself, every two days, for no less than 30 minutes, slaving over the cutting board, knife in hand, finger tips a blaze with tears streaming down my face.

It’s really that serious. I’ve solved the ‘fire fingers’ thing… apparently the capsaicin in peppers can cause serious burns. Twice. Twice I whipped up a batch of this salsa and for 3 days suffered terrible fingertip pain… didn’t put two and two together until my mom came to visit. She was like… ‘um… baby, it’s probably the peppers’. So now I wear gloves. Try twisting your hair with fingertips a blaze… I was dancing in circles. Searing pain.

I still need advice on chopping stuff up faster, reducing the pain and tears of onion dicing… and I’d love more black bean recipes! I’m digging this vegetarian-light thing I’ve got going on. I only eat meat at one meal, dinner, unless it’s the weekend and I’m craving bacon and sausage. But usually, it’s oatmeal and Greek yogurt for breakfast, the black bean salsa + chips for lunch, and whatever for dinner. I’ve been doing great with cooking (which usually entails me warming stuff up in the oven) and staying away from the fast food. When I told Kimberly Elise of my love for black beans she told me that if they truly become a staple of my diet, it’ll be impossible to get fat. The fiber and healthy protein just wouldn’t allow for it. Neato.

I suppose I’ve rambled enough. Bottom line- I love black beans. I love black bean salsa. I need a sous chef to cut up this ish to make my life easier.

Hubby polished ’em off yesterday and since I’m hungrier than a mug, I suppose it’s time to head to the kitchen.

Later Gators,
Nik