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Curly Nikki

This Is Why You Can’t Find Your Purpose

By January 27th, 2021No Comments
This Is Why You Can't Find Your Purpose
by GG Renee of AllTheManyLayers

I was looking everywhere for the damn thing. I looked for it everyday, almost every minute. I knew I couldn’t live long without it, so there was urgency. I cried because I didn’t know what it would look like. What if I missed it? The longing lived in my touch, in my hugs and kisses. With my body, I searched. With my spirit, I watched and waited.

Read On!>>>

I thought that school would give it to me. Or maybe a man. People told me I should model, so I thought I’d find it on a runway. It wasn’t there either. I kept waiting for someone to reveal it to me. What now? Where else could I look? I asked God only because I knew I was supposed to, but I never waited for an answer. I was anxious, I was stubborn, so I wandered.

Motherhood? So much beauty. But no, it wasn’t there.
Job? Nothing. Not even a spark.
Money? Yes! That must be where it is!

I threw myself into every make-big-money venture I could tolerate. The damn thing wasn’t there either.

The moments kept me going. The butterflies. When someone came to me for advice or comfort, I felt something. When I diffused an argument or changed the energy in a room from tense to peace, there was a quiet knowing. Calm was a power I’d always had but never valued. Once I packaged my calm into written words, something shifted.

Soon I gave in to my butterflies and paid attention to what made me feel at home, no matter where I was. I began to care about how I could make the world better in my own small way. That became my priority — to be a source of joy for myself and my territory. Maybe I’d never find my purpose, but I decided to be a good sport about it. I would focus on being a kind person. I would help other people cope and feel seen.

That’s when it came to me at last. Quiet and familiar, like my prayers and my butterflies. Everything I’d searched for, I already had. It was there. It was always there, just waiting for me to see it, water it and let it bloom.

Your purpose in life is simple. Be your true blue, unequivocal self and embrace the miraculous journey that ensues.

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