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Curly Nikki

Peace, Love and Weakness

By January 27th, 2021No Comments
Peace, Love and Weakness

“To share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable; to make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength.” – Criss Jami

We are taught that shortcomings should be hidden and we shouldn’t admit what we struggle with, but I disagree.

Getting comfortable with my weaknesses has put me in touch with a deeper level of self-expression, creativity and peace.

One day, I started telling people about my bouts with depression and anxiety. I started talking about my self-doubt and insecurities. Instead of feeling ashamed and letting it control me, I exploited it in a positive way. Making myself accessible opened doors for me to be productive with my issues. 

Instead of feeling ashamed and embarrassed, I shared and empowered myself. I got the opportunity to share my story of growing up with a schizophrenic mother on xoJane and I still receive emails from women who grew up in similar situations. I feel purposeful in connecting with them and being a voice for women who once thought they were all alone.

Everything about you, everything that has happened to you, everything you like, dislike, prefer, attract, repel — all of it has meaning and can be purposeful if you’re awake to it.

Our passions arise from what makes us feel strong and alive and full of energy. The things we stay up all night for, the things we talk about for hours without running out of interest or things to say. Endless curiosity and blatant enthusiasm.

What we think are weaknesses can feed our passions when we learn to either get them out of the way or put them to work. For example, I put my mother’s illness to work by writing about it, sharing it and healing through creativity. I connected it with something I love – writing – and I made something that felt good to make. Her illness still feels like a liability, but I can accept it more peacefully now.

How can you reframe a weakness into a strength?

First acknowledge it, then reposition it. Don’t think of it as a detractor or something that can stop you. Look at it as an opportunity to be creative. To build a relationship with someone who is strong in that area or to partner with someone who has a similar situation. To be an inspiration. As others see you living in your truth and embracing your humanness, they will feel free to do the same.

That’s the kind of world that I want to live in.

Where people use their strengths to be of service and their weaknesses to develop and build character. Where we see each other’s nuances as opportunities to share greatness and ideas. When we hide all this, we miss out on genuine connections and meaning. Soul-stirring, heart-full, passionate meaning – the reason why we are all here.

Maybe people have told you that you are too this or too that. Maybe you have vices and traits that seem to get in your way. Habits that make you feel ashamed. Realities that embarrass you. You don’t have to own the labels and definitions that people place on you or feel less than because of them. You get to decide what you want your life to be about by being creative with everything that life brings to you.

Try this at home:

Make a list of five weaknesses or self-doubts that plague you. After each one, replace it with a positive thought that supports the vision you have for yourself. Turn the negatives into positives and repeat those positives every time the old thoughts pop up.

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