Are You Resting… or Running Away? | The Fine Line Between Peace and Avoidance

Rest vs. Escape: How to Tell the Difference

by Erica Prevell for CurlyNikki.com

There’s a big difference between resting and just checking out. Sometimes we call it rest when we’re really just avoiding our own exhaustion.

From the outside, rest and escape can look like twins, so allow me to introduce you to two women.

Meet Ashley:

After a long week of leading the team, putting out fires, and juggling one too many “quick requests,” Ashley finally closes her laptop. She tells herself, “I just need to breathe.”

She arrives home and drops her bag by the door, still half-thinking about that one email she forgot to send. She turns on Netflix to play in the background before she’s even kicked off her shoes. Her DoorDash sushi rolls are on the way. She scrolls Instagram while the show plays, half watching, half replaying the week.

The couch feels safe. Familiar. But her shoulders stay tense. She keeps glancing at her phone, checking messages she swore she’d ignore tonight. It’s quiet, but peace is nowhere to be found. She’s still in motion, just sitting down for it.

By the time she crawls into bed, her mind won’t shut off. She calls it rest because her body stopped, but her brain kept running sprints.

Meet Lauren:

After a full week of back-to-back client meetings, unexpected fires, and “quick favors” that weren’t so quick, she finally shuts her laptop, exhales, and thinks, “I just need to breathe for a second.”

She comes home and, as she walks in, notices light still pouring through the window. She changes into something more comfortable and opens the windows to let in the evening air. Instead of reaching for her phone, she pours a glass of sparkling water with an orange slice and takes it outside.

She sits on the patio and just lets herself exhale. She plays soft music and lets the day fall off her in layers, the sound of the street, the smell of dinner, the quiet hum of nothing demanding her attention.

Ten minutes pass before she even realizes it. Her shoulders drop. Her breath slows. She remembers this version of herself, unrushed, enough, restored. The candle flickers beside her as a reminder that peace doesn’t need to perform.

Can you tell the difference?

Who do you see yourself in today?

Isn’t it crazy how both Ashley’s and Lauren’s stories look similar from the outside? They’ve both stopped moving, they’re home, they’re “off.” Same couch. Same candle. Same silence. But inside, they couldn’t be more different. One numbs. The other nourishes.

The difference isn’t what you’re doing, it’s how you’re being. That’s the sneaky thing about escape: it pretends to be rest. Escape asks nothing of you, but gives nothing back. Rest, on the other hand, restores you to who you are when you’re not performing for the world.

I know this difference because I used to blur the two constantly. I’ve been both Ashley and Lauren. Several years back, when I was in corporate leadership, managing a large team and in non-stop go-go-go mode. As an ambitious woman without kids, I bought into the idea of being expected to have endless capacity. And for a while, I did, until I didn’t.

I was achieving my goals and excelling in my career, but my mind and body were paying the cost. I remember taking several days off in a row because I was convinced a break would fix everything. I slept in, binge-watched shows, ordered takeout, and even spent time at the beach. I told myself I was finally resting. But when I sat back at my desk that first Monday, my shoulders were still tight, my jaw clenched, my chest heavy.

I hadn’t rested at all; I just stopped moving.

That was the moment I learned that time off isn’t the same as restoration. Because honestly, stopping doesn’t always mean you’ve slowed down.

It took steady changes in my mindset about work and rest. I started with small practices like quiet mornings, slow movement, time with God, intentional time at the beach, and creative play to remind my body what calm and ease actually felt like. That’s when I stopped calling escape “rest.” You can pause your schedule and still stay in survival mode. Real rest doesn’t come from disconnecting; real rest comes from returning to yourself, your body, your peace. I talk about my journey from burnout to ease and offer practical guidance in my debut book Release & Renew: Transform Burnout into Purpose and Unlock Joy and Ease.

Here’s what I’ve learned about the difference between the two and how I guide other women to learn as well.

As Ashley and Lauren showed us, rest and escape can look almost identical from the outside. But the tell-tale sign is the feeling afterward, the energy behind it. It tells you everything.

Rest restores.

It gives something back: clarity, energy, presence. You exhale and feel a quiet kind of fullness.
Rest might look like:

• Finally starting that book for fun, that’s been collecting dust on your nightstand
• Taking a slow walk in nature without your phone
• Reading a devotional and staying with one sentence that speaks to you instead of rushing to the next page.
• Making a cup of tea and doing nothing else, but savoring the taste while you drink it.
• Turning off notifications and eating lunch away from your desk.
• Letting yourself nap on a Saturday afternoon without guilt.
• Calling a friend just to laugh and talk about life, not work.

Escape numbs.

It gives temporary relief but no return. You check out, hoping the stillness will recharge you, but instead, it leaves you foggy and restless.

Escape can look like:

• Overcommitting so you don’t have to feel still
• Filling every gap in your day so you don’t have to sit with yourself.
• Scrolling through other people’s highlight reels for “inspiration” that actually makes you feel behind.
• Shopping online for something to look forward to instead of pausing to feel what’s missing.
• Pouring a glass of wine to unwind, but realizing your mind is still running.
• Saying yes to another project or favor because slowing down feels too unfamiliar.
• Staying up late watching “one more episode” even though your mind and body are begging for rest.

This isn’t just about a mindset shift; it’s a spiritual truth.

God designed us for rest.

It isn’t something you should view as optional. Rest is a sacred practice. Even God rested on the seventh day. In my own journey toward prioritizing rest and ease, I had to learn that rest wasn’t something I had to earn or should bypass; it was something I was created for.

One scripture that has become foundational in both my life and my work is Matthew 11:28:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.”

He’s not just talking about physical rest like sleep or stepping away from work, He’s inviting us into a deep, nourishing, soul-level rest. The kind that restores peace to your body and alignment to your purpose. The kind of rest that’s lasting, and not temporary.

So, you may be asking, if rest is so nourishing, why is it so common to escape?

We default to escape because, simply, it’s easier. It doesn’t ask for awareness, it’s just a means of distraction.
Rest, on the other hand, takes thoughtfulness and intention. It requires choosing to be present even when that presence feels uncomfortable at first.

The difference is simple but powerful:
After escape, you feel empty.
After rest, you feel like you again.

So, if you’ve been calling constant exhaustion “normal” or convincing yourself that numbing yourself is “self-care”, it’s okay. We’ve all been there. The key is awareness. Not judging yourself or being too hard on yourself, just noticing when your mind and body are asking for something deeper.

How would your days feel different if you truly believed rest is holy, not indulgent?

Try this:

Set aside just ten minutes one evening to be still, no phone, no TV, no to-do list.

Sit somewhere quiet, breathe, and ask yourself:

“What kind of rest do I actually need right now, mental, physical, or spiritual?”

Then, choose one small way to give yourself that.

Because when you learn to rest the way God designed you to, everything else begins to flow from that peace.

If any of this resonated with you and you’re ready to practice this kind of intentional rest that restores you in small, tangible ways, I’ve created something to help you get started.
The Ambition Reset is a 7-day guided audio experience for ambitious women professionals, leaders, and entrepreneurs without kids at home, who are tired of constantly running on empty. Just 10 minutes a day to help you start to feel a little clearer, a little lighter, and more like yourself, one day at a time, without giving up on your goals.

It’s not about doing less. It’s about finally feeling more present in your life.

Meet the Writer

I’m Erica Prevell, creative entrepreneur, coach, and author. I spent years in healthcare climbing the corporate ladder until burnout stopped me in my tracks. That experience taught me what real transformation looks like: moving from constant push to living a life rooted in ease and alignment. Now I help ambitious, but exhausted, women professionals, leaders, and entrepreneurs reclaim their time for rest, creativity, and to just be without giving up on their goals. I also support wellness and creative founders and brands through visual consulting, refining the look and feel of their brands so they can show up with clarity and confidence.

To learn more about me and my work, visit my website at ericaprevell.com.