For me, shopping online for lipstick is a lot like web shopping for jeans. Just as my long, spindly, chicken gams, small waist and disproportionately large booty (it’s a far cry from a donk, but I like to #LookBackAtIt) makes it difficult to find jeans that (a) don’t flood, (b) drag on the floor, (c) gap in the back, or (d) serve up extra material where my hips should be, my naturally two toned lips makes it difficult to find flattering colors that don’t exacerbate the fact that I have one pink lip and one brown one. << that sentence was hella long.
So that is why I’ve always gravitated toward glosses… embracing my natural color(s), but when I want to act grown and don reds and pinks, the results on each lip can be drastically different. Which brings me to mattes. I love their appearance and they do a good job at masking my ‘situation’ because they’re opaque. So they’re perfect… until my lips crack. It’s important to note that I’m chronically dehydrated because when given the choice, I sometimes choose
riesling orange soda over water and then my thirst gets real, and before I know it, I’m channeling Tyrone Biggums. That, coupled with my anxious lip biting, and the fact that most mattes will dry you the hell out anyway, equals WHOLE MESS. I’m extra verbose tonight, no? I need to get off the keys…
Anyway, all of that to say, I found THE lipstain. THE LIPSTAIN. It has given me no less than 10 extra years of life. Warning… it’s disrespectfully expensive, but the results are just as the reviews stated- long lasting color w/out feathering, cracking or that dried out feeling. And somehow, I eyed it and picked two perfect hues without the luxury of trying them on first.
That is all, I just had to share the magic with y’all! You’ll get to see them in action this weekend ’cause tomorrow morning I’m off to STL! It’s.About.To.Go.Down. Has #TurnUp run it’s course yet? ‘Cause that’s what’s happening in T minus 2 days. I’ve packed my liver and my party pants. I’m ready.
p.s. *sigh* When asked who was on the imaginary phone, she responded, ‘shhh! I’m ordering food’. Clearly, I don’t cook much.