Today, my curls are at a sexy stage of being. They’re wild, long, thick and reddish violet. Nothing to complain about. I proudly rock ‘em. When I was transitioning, on the other hand, I’m not sure I walked around with the boldness I possess now. It was my husband’s compliments on the days that I felt like a recalled rag doll that made me feel comfortable.
The opinions of a significant other or a peer circle have more authority than most of us like to admit. It’s interesting how another person can influence something so rightfully OURS – like our hair! I’ll even venture to say that us naturalistas are empowered to press on because of the encouragement we receive from each other, not our own gumption. But what if momentum around the natural hair movement died and somehow creamy crack came back in style and “Return to Straight” blogs were being created every day? What if your curly girl crew became dependent on blow dryers and flat irons and your spouse wanted to feel something “smooth”?
Could you refuse the temptation to conform to a new look?
Here’s the reality: If the person or people who you spend the majority of your time with don’t like how you look, regardless of how thick your skin is, knowing how unattractive you appear in their eyes can seriously affect your self-esteem.
I wonder how often we allow this pressure to influence major facets of our appearance. I realize that as full grown womanhood settles in, the amount of mental energy spent considering those opinions gets slimmer and slimmer, but I bet you’ve weighed them heavily at some point in your life.
Me, circa 2011:
Me, after a few hundred “you should try it” and “I think you would look nice with natural hair” comments from the hubby:
Me with my natural hair champion, Mr. Williams: