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Is Your Femininity Defined By What Others Think Of You?

Is Your Femininity Defined By What Others Think Of You?

By Jashima Wadehra 

Growing up, the horizons of beauty and what is sexy were not as broad as they are today. I neither had long voluminous locks nor child bearing hips. Instead my parents genes graced me with broad shoulders, flat feet, chubby fingers and a flat pancake booty. It’s taken me years to understand myself and find my body “feminine.” When you’re subjected to comments like “ you don’t look very girly” or “ your upper body is quite large” you stop being able to tell yourself “I️ am beautiful the way I️ am.” You start to scrutinize and say “ my boobs are too big, my thighs touch, “I️ don’t look petite.”

Being a woman who’s not petite is quite possibly one of the hardest things to overcome. Indian society is extremely BRUTAL and degrading, especially when it comes to physical appearances.

They are the kings and queens of unsolicited opinions. Because of that, as I️ entered my late teens it took me time to understand why certain men were hitting on me. Could they really have found this sexy? They wanted to take my broad shoulders on a date ? Hold my chubby finger hands ? Admire my flat feet in heels? They found ME attractive? Insecurities crept in; but I’m not “ petite” I’m not perfectly hourglass. I’m not feminine enough.”

It hit me then, well….. not right then more like a year, some breakdowns and Whitney Houston sessions later, that I️ decide what is feminine about me, how I️ look at myself is how others will see me. How I️ define my sexy is well, SEXY. In today’s world we are opening doors for plus-sized models and encouraging ALL bodies to be sexy, I️ feel even more feminine and comfortable with myself than ever before. The little girl who wore over-sized clothes and tried to make herself small, has decided to embrace her “big” because I learned that trying to appear physically smaller on the outside really just made me extremely small on the inside.

While I am an advocate of fashion and media integrating ALL body types. I do not advocate poor health habits. As women it is important that we empower ourselves and support one another while also being kind to our bodies. Fitness is part of being feminine, it’s taking care of the only vessel you have in life to carry you even if that vessel is broad shouldered. With that said, no two bodies are made the same and most insecurities we have are not what those interested in us see, until we make it known to them. Everyone wants their beauty and desirability affirmed once in a blue moon, but no one NEEDS affirmation to believe they are beautiful.

There is no such thing as a “feminine” body type. There is a female with a body who thinks she’s a Badass.

What defines your femininity? 

Is Your Femininity Defined By What Others Think Of You?
Jashima Wadehra is a writer, dancer, entrepreneur, and lover of people based in NYC.  She can be found blogging at overpriced coffee shops or on a plane heading to a new place to write about.  Follow her on instagram at @TheChatterboxlifeEnthusiast and check out her new blog

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