Almost a Nun, Part 2: The Book That Changed My Life
Yep, that’s me. I bet you’re wondering how I ended up in this situation. 🙂
How does one go from not going to church at all, to going daily? Every. single. day. *singing in 1985* Monday. Tuesday. Wednesday. Thursday. Friday. Saturday, Sunday, Monday. Tuesday, etc. And not just going every day, but it being the highlight, the JOY of your day. And this, coming from someone who was taken to church every Sunday as a child (never heard anything but my own resistance and thoughts about being there, and the anticipation of the doughnuts and breakfast that would soon follow), left the Church (didn’t think there were any answers there, but plenty of racism, ageism, and sexism, unfortunately) and came back only to take it ALL THE WAY TO THE WALL?!
The Daily Mass crowd usually consists of me and about 15-20 beautiful, older, white people (at least here where I live). And I go to different churches on different days. I’m always the youngest and the Blackest, but always the most sought out lol. And yet we are all there seeking the same One.
Now, let me back up. CurlyNikki has existed since 2008. Actually, October 8, 2008, so I’m coming up on an anniversary. It’s seen many things; I’ve shared many things, but up until 2015, I never shared about my relationship with God. I wasn’t even calling Him that yet. Politics and religion were completely left out of the equation. I slowly began sharing positive psychology (remember I have a Master’s in Counseling and Psych and was a licensed counselor for a stint), law of attraction teachings like those of Neville Goddard, and non-dual teachings from Eckhart Tolle and Mooji. Whenever I get excited about something, I evangelize.
That’s how all of this started. I was a natural hair evangelist. Not just an enthusiast. I take things alllllll the way. My ex-husband used to say that– ‘you don’t half do anything; you take it all the way to the farthest extent possible and then past that!’ It’s in my bones.
Daily Rosary: MY PLANS CANNOT REPLACE MY PRAYERS
I have also always been very inclusive. If you’ve been around since the hair days, you know I never told you to STOP relaxing, or that relaxers were the devil. I never politicized, weaponized, or demonized heat styling, straight styles, weaves, wigs or versatility. I just offered a healthy alternative. I modeled and lived something different. In hindsight, which has become my foresight, THIS IS THAT.
I have digested and embodied many traditions (from non-dual Hinduism to Sufism, to mystic Christianity), taught and shared all the practices that excited my spirit and moved me. But I didn’t encounter Christ in the Eucharist until 2023. I had received Communion countless times in countless places, on countless pilgrimages, and every week as a child from age 7, when I made my First Communion, until I was 18. But I never consciously received Him until 2023.
And I had never really revealed this here, or on the podcast until today. With this post, just like with my gray hair post, I can feel the anxiety. The nakedness. The ‘if you actually get to know me, you won’t want to know me’-ness. But I digress. The Eucharist changed my life. He changed my life. In the words of Mary Magdalene on The Chosen, “I was one way and now I am completely different. And the thing that happened in between was Him.”
When I heard her say that, I booked my trip to Galilee.
I was at church one morning, before I started attending daily Mass regularly. I had felt called back because I felt adrift. And I remember Ram Dass’ words that one must revisit their roots… karma and whatnot (the Eucharist is the death of karma by the way- the old you dies). Whatever religion you were born into was for a reason.
That’s why he circled back around to Judaism and landed on his final teaching- ‘I am Loving Awareness.’ I circled the block, and ended up at Mass, and one day, while leaving, there was a free book (FREE BOOK?!! Yes!) called Beautiful Eucharist by Matthew Kelly. Now, mind you, I was already praying the Rosary regularly, and doing my best to be moral and Christ-like, but this was different.
Kelly, in very simple terms and very simple words, explained that Jesus is in Heaven… yes… but He is also truly present in the Eucharist, Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity, under the appearances of bread and wine. The Catholic Church calls this mystery transubstantiation. It is central to the Catholic faith, and it is a point of great debate.
I don’t debate. I ain’t got time to argue. I ain’t got time period lol. That’s why I stopped doing my hair! So I’m not here to tell you to convert. But I am here to invite you to listen to or read the book that changed the course of my life. I don’t know Matthew Kelly, but I thank him. And I pray that one day, you’ll say the same about me.
I love you,
nik
P.S. That pic was taken in an airport on my way back from San Giovanni Rotondo, Italy. God be calling me all over the place. Nuns find me everywhere, and I find them! They’re calling me!
P.P.S. And if you’re wondering how I deal with the racism, ageism, and sexism when I encounter them in the Church, I remember that I’m there to encounter Him. That’s it. I left again for a while after Charlie Kirk, but I returned. And I mind mine. 😉
Like Kelly said, there may be better music and sermons elsewhere, but you know where you can find me. Many Catholic churches and cathedrals are open during the day. Find one, go inside, locate the tabernacle (the sacred, locked place where the Eucharist is reserved, usually marked by a sanctuary lamp, often red, burning nearby), and sit or kneel nearby. In the Presence. And see. If you notice what I notice, you may wonder how anyone could ever get up… or walk out… and leave. That’s why I return daily. Let’s continue the conversation tomorrow!
I love you!
“The more we receive the Eucharist, the more we will become like Jesus, so that on this earth we will have a foretaste of heaven.” – St. Carlo Acutis
