A Holy Desire : How to Fight Lust and Walk in Chastity
A CurlyNikki.com Guide for the Soul Who Longs to Be Pure
(**For Nikki’s personal experience with fighting lust, scroll to the bottom of this article!)
“He who overcomes lust has conquered nature itself.”
– St. John Climacus, The Ladder of Divine Ascent
Lust is not love.
Lust confuses. It clouds the heart. It drains your focus and peace. It often creeps in silently, especially when you’re tired, stressed, lonely, or even just scrolling too long. And yet, it’s not you. You are not your urges. You are not your thoughts. You are not what tempts you. You’re His. “Jesus, I am yours…” is a prayer you can pray to Him right now, to reclaim the territory of His Father’s Temple.
If you’re reading this, it’s probably because you want to be closer to God. You want to be pure. You feel the pull toward chastity, not just celibacy, but a beautiful inner stillness and clean-heartedness that feels holy, light, and alive. He’s called you to this. You’re just finally answering.
This is a battle of our time, but the saints have fought it too. And they won. By grace, by prayer, and by Presence.
Here’s how they did it, and how you can too.
“When lust or rash anger burns in the soul, Satan warms himself at this fire. Men’s sins feast the devil.” -Thomas Watson
What Is Lust, Really?
Lust is not just sexual temptation. It’s a misuse of the longing that was meant for God.
It’s when desire runs untamed and detached from Divine Love. It’s a craving for connection or stimulation without intimacy, without reverence, without eternity.
St. Augustine said:
“Our hearts are restless until they rest in You.”
Lust is one of the many ways the restless heart tries to fill the God-shaped space with something that cannot satisfy.
Why Chastity Isn’t Just “No Sex”
Chastity is often misunderstood. It’s not repression. It’s not shame. It’s not fear.
It’s freedom.
Chastity is wholeness. It’s peace. It’s the ability to see yourself and others clearly, without distortion or domination. It’s the fruit of a life turned toward God, mind, body, and soul aligned in love.
St. Thérèse of Lisieux, a Doctor of the Church, lived this clarity:
“To love is to give everything and to give yourself.”
She didn’t marry. She didn’t need to. She was married to the One who made her. And so are you.
3 Saints Who Fought Lust and Won (So You Can Too)
St. Mary of Egypt
A former courtesan, she lived in the desert for 47 years in repentance. Her story is one of the most powerful transformations in Church history.
“As soon as I saw the icon of the Theotokos, I couldn’t enter the church. That’s when I knew: I needed to change. I begged her to help me.”
Her strategy: She fled. She prayed. She fasted. She kept her eyes and body set apart. And she was made new.
St. John Climacus
The author of The Ladder of Divine Ascent, he described lust as a “natural fire”, not evil in itself, but deadly when misdirected.
“He who has defeated lust has surpassed nature itself.”
His strategy: Vigilance. Humility. Calling on Christ at the first thought of temptation.
St. Thérèse of Lisieux
Though she lived a chaste and protected life, her purity was not naive, it was fierce.
“When I feel nothing, when I am dry, when I am tempted, I stay with Jesus. That is enough.”
Her strategy: Complete surrender. Childlike trust. Overflowing love.
How to Fight Lust (and Win)
1. Turn the thought into prayer.
Every tempting thought is a moment to turn toward God.
Say:
“Jesus, I trust in You. Take this thought. Take me.”
Or simply:
“Jesus, have mercy.”
2. Pray the Rosary
Our Lady is purity herself. Pray her mysteries daily and she will cleanse your mind.
“If you say the Rosary faithfully until death, I assure you that, despite the gravity of your sins… you shall receive a never-fading crown of glory.”
– St. Louis de Montfort
3. Run to the Sacraments
Confession. The Eucharist. Adoration. These are weapons.
“The Holy Communion becomes a fire which inflames us, a light which drives away the darkness.” – St. John Vianney
Go weekly if you can. Daily Mass if you’re able. Let Him feed your strength.
4. Fast (even from screens)
If you can’t fast from food, start with social media, certain shows, or anything that stirs your imagination in the wrong direction.
Fast not to punish, but to purify.
Prayers to Pray When Tempted
Prayer of St. Thomas Aquinas
“Give me, O Lord, a steadfast heart, which no unworthy affection may drag downwards.”
The Jesus Prayer
“Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.”
A Short Prayer in the Moment
“Jesus, I want to want You more.”
What Happens When You Live Chastely?
- You gain clarity.
- Your energy returns.
- Your mind sharpens.
- You feel light again.
- You fall in love with God.
The saints say chastity is not the absence of passion, it is passion set on fire for the right thing. It is love. It is freedom. It is joy that doesn’t leave you empty.
“O chastity, you are a precious gem.” -St. Teresa of Ávila
Final Word: You’re Not Alone
The battle for purity is not a lonely one. Jesus is fighting with you. Every time you turn your heart to Him instead of the temptation, He wins in you. And you begin to look more like Him.
This isn’t about shame. It’s about transformation.
The Blood covers you. The Spirit strengthens you. The Father delights in you.
You are already loved, and you can walk holy, whole, and free.
CN Says:
When the temptation to self-pleasure comes now (I am celibate), which is much more rare than it used to be (like once every few months), I immediately recognize that the urge isn’t mine. The thoughts aren’t mine. They’re the enemy whispering in my ear, and I have to fight back. So I start by remembering the truth: God is always fully present. Always here. But I’m not always fully aware of Him. That’s the real issue. That’s why the temptation is even happening. The moment I become aware of His Presence again, really feel Him, there’s no room for lust. No need. No desire. Just Him. A deep, quiet fullness. So I pray. I reach for God. I shift my posture. I move locations. I take a walk. And whether I fall or stand firm, I confess. Either way, I run back to Him.
I LOVE confession now (again, wasn’t on my 2025 bingo card), because it’s like having an accountability partner. And you actually walk out of there FREE. You’re not talking to a man during the sacrament. When the priest blesses you at the end and absolves you of your sins, those aren’t his hands. Jesus is there. But I digress…
You just can’t put yourself in a position to fail. Leave your room, your home, your town, the country, the planet lol. JK. But move your body. Dance to worship music. SING! I love singing!
Here’s something personal that happened recently (last week). I had a bad dream that I can’t quite remember. But toward the end of the dream I felt aroused, that familiar sex urge. Instantly, I was in the midst of another dream. A Black priest, with an African accent, was administering the Body and Blood of Christ to me. As soon as I sipped from the Chalice, the consecrated wine, Jesus’ Blood, the sensations stopped, and a lightness pervaded.
It all happened in an instant and then I woke up. I still can’t remember what the bad dream was about, but receiving the Body and Blood of Christ, I can still feel the cool of the Chalice on my lips, it was so vivid. And it instantly freed me from the false urges of the flesh. Spirit won. And the Eucharist helped. GO. Receive Communion. Take this as your sign.
Some saints lived only on the Body and Blood of Christ (they were also cloistered, so I’m not recommending this for householders), but fasting could help too, as we don’t live on bread alone!
Oh, and not just the Host, like many churches do now because of the pandemic. Both species. When I’m going to daily Mass, temptations don’t even happen. When life lifes, and I get busy, stress slips in, less daily Mass happens, and coincidence or not… so does temptation. So do nightmares and other visitations. I pray my little story time helps you in your journey. I’m in these young trenches with ya! I love you! And I’m thankful you are here!
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